Those (now) amusing stories

[aka Bull]

How about those incidents you can chuckle about......now anyway.

Day shift. My partner for the shift and I are working the Emergency Department (ED). It's a nice spring weekend and we haven't got many patients. However, there is Chris. Chris is being held in the ED because he's drunk...er under the influence of alcohol. He's about 22 and, of course, is on security watch. Chris has been there for a few hours and is getting really bored.

Chris waits till the split second we both happen to take our eyes off him to sweep the rest of the patients and bolts out the ambulance entrance. My partner yells and we begin to give chase. I put out a "rabbit" call and yell at the contract officer (who just happened to walk in at the right time) to stay put. As I round the corner to go through the doors I hit the door frame and the radio strap snap (I find out later) pops off. As I go chasing Chris and my partner across the hospital grounds I hear a clattering on the pavement and see the portable hospital phone fly into two pieces from my partners belt....great no phone. Not ten steps later my radio bounces out of its case and wraps itself around my leg by the microphone cord, happily bouncing off my leg while I try to run.

So there we are coming up on the about 8' tall gate closing off the fire lane into the back of the property. Young Chris slithers under the gate (there's enough room for him)......."oh no flaming way" (bad words changed so as to not upset the moderators) I think to myself, while trying to pull my radio up by the cord. My partner gets to the gate and decides that's over, youngster got off the property - end of chase. I come up behind him (yeah, we're somewhat winded by now) and stop as well. We look through the gate and there's no sign of Chris...........wait is that Chris peeking around the tree in that yard?

Yup, sure is. I'm tired, my leg is sore (and later bruised) by the radio, and I am really NOT in the mood to have to write a patient escape report today. So what have I got to lose right? I put on my best parental voice and yell, "Chris, get back over here NOW!"

Chris: "Why"
Me: "You know why. Now get back here or I'll call your mother."
Chris: "You wouldn't do that would you?"
Me: "You better believe I will young man. Now get back here."
To our astonishment Chris comes out from behind the tree and walks back to the gate. Keeping a stern look on my face, I tell him to get back over the gate. At that moment up drives, yes drives, the golf cart with two other officers in it. They've got the key to the gate too.....how thoughtful of them. The gate gets opened and in comes Chris, to be marched back to the ED by my partner and I while the other two ride back in the golf cart.

While we got Chris back, I've got to wonder why our backup took the time to get the cart - Murphy's Law.....they wanted to be fresh in case we needed help!

[GCMC Security]

Oh that made me laugh It's amazing how a stern parental voice can work wonders sometimes!

[IB107]

u get 5 stars for that one... i wonder what the expression on "chris" face was when he came back in...

[HotelSecurity]

In Montreal hotels one of our biggest problems are the young kids that come from the northern states & nearby provinces where the drinking age is over 18 years old. In Quebec it is only 18. Kids come here on Spring Break & other school holidays mainly for this reason. One year many years ago we had 17 bus loads of them arrive, (We used to have 2 or 3 security on duty per shift, that day we had about 15). As a show of force we had 3 Officers & the Director in the lobby to "greet them". One kid gets off the bus & strolls into the lobby doing something he shouldn't have been doing. (I don't remember exactly what he was doing). Anyway, my boss who was in his 70s yells at the kid in broken English (my boss did not speak much English). He tells the kid to "go stand in the corner". The kid did! He stayed there for about 15 minutes until the boss gets him to apologize & lets him go up to his room.

[aka Bull]

I can just see the young man standing in the corner - at least he understood to obey his elders, he was taught manners.

IB107, he had a sad and dejected look on his face, like a 5 year old who'd just been sent to his room from the dinner table without dessert!

For the record....I didn't know his mother or her name - one of the few times I can say someone being drunk worked to my advantage.

[crankloud]

I was looking after a young male 21 very paranoid dillusional. He was a patient for about 3 months at our ward. He was due to be escorted to a more suitable facility.One day in the shower he was given towels, shampoo, soap, toothbrush and comb. Several minutes later the shower stops running, he gets dressed, combs hair, brushes teeth , everything normal, no problems. When he comes out the toothbrush is missing. Everyone goes into a panic thinking he has INSERTED it somewhere so a search is executed(messy). No toothbrush there. Further inspection found the toothbrush in the drain of the shower. Not paranoid at all?

[aka Bull]

I was looking after a young male 21 very paranoid dillusional. He was a patient for about 3 months at our ward. He was due to be escorted to a more suitable facility.One day in the shower he was given towels, shampoo, soap, toothbrush and comb. Several minutes later the shower stops running, he gets dressed, combs hair, brushes teeth , everything normal, no problems. When he comes out the toothbrush is missing. Everyone goes into a panic thinking he has INSERTED it somewhere so a search is executed(messy). No toothbrush there. Further inspection found the toothbrush in the drain of the shower. Not paranoid at all?

Ouch! Glad that's a search I wouldn't be required to conduct.

[N. A. Corbier]

I was looking after a young male 21 very paranoid dillusional. He was a patient for about 3 months at our ward. He was due to be escorted to a more suitable facility.One day in the shower he was given towels, shampoo, soap, toothbrush and comb. Several minutes later the shower stops running, he gets dressed, combs hair, brushes teeth , everything normal, no problems. When he comes out the toothbrush is missing. Everyone goes into a panic thinking he has INSERTED it somewhere so a search is executed(messy). No toothbrush there. Further inspection found the toothbrush in the drain of the shower. Not paranoid at all?

You know, you'd think they'd ask him first, then check the shower before having to go through stripping him down, preping a surgery unit, etc.

[mh892]

Young family with new camping trailer on first camping trip in strange area. Got thier directions a little confused and ended up on a military range. Drove on dirt road untill finding a small building with a street light, water spigot and lots of parking space. I imagine the talk was, "Looks like we found the camp ground."

The range was shut down for the week end and my partner and I had nothing better to do, so we followed them from where we spotted them to the "camp ground", with the lights off.

Called control and had a discussion while the folks set up their camp spot. Decided to let them stay since it was a temporary unsecure area.

We had parked behind said building (a shack really) and watched. Could hear every word they said. Sitting by their camp fire (where did they find the firewood?) and the youngin's in bed, we heard the Mrs. ask, "Do you think it is safe to stay here, Bill?" Bill went on to tell how his freind camps here all the time and have never had any problems. But that the shower house was a lot smaller than had been described to him.

Next morning Bill steps out of the camping trailer to find a government security vehicle sitting in front of the 'shower house' and two armed security personnel sitting in Bill and Mrs. camping chairs.

Without missing a beat, ole Bill says, "See honey? Told you it was safe. You gentleman like some coffee?"

After some explaining by both parties we told the nice folks to have thier breakfast before packing up and we would escort them to the nearest highway. The three very young kids got a kick out of having breakfast with the 'police opisers'.

And we had to convince the Mrs. that sending a thank you note to the Installation Commanding Officer would probably not ba a good idea.

That was one of the finest open range, night duties I have ever pulled.

[Mr. Security]

Great stories everyone. I had some good laughs.

[ozsecuritychic]

i was called to a shoplifter,after i had called the police this girl dumped shirts and other items from other shops in the store she was caught.the shopkeeper handed me this skimpy black shirt that had another shops tags on it the shopkeeper asked me what to do with it so i was in a particularily sarcastic mood and said well since its not from here why dont you keep it(knowing it was from our shoplifter)after the police charged this girl and the police had searched her she actually asked the policce officer for the shirt back,she tried to argue that because she had got away without the shop she stole from catching her so she should be able to keep her stolen items.i was trying so hard not to laugh when she was charged for that too.