Need your help

[officerchick Member Find all posts View Profile Close officerchick]

Some of you may remember a thread I had a while back about nanny cams. Well, the situation has progressed and I need the peculiar combination of intelligence and deviousness that security folks tend to have...

For reasons too long to go into, she is no longer allowed in the home without me. My concern is that two days of the week I work and she does not. She leaves with me in the morning, and doesn't have a key, but we rent an apartment. I know they'll let her in if she asks, and they once even let us borrow their master key for a full day to make copies, so she could theoretically have gotten a copy made.

So what I need is this - some way to 'rig' the front door so that I know if she's been inside without me. The best I can come up with is a piece of clear scotch tape at the top corner, but if anyone has a better suggestion I'd love to hear it.

[Rooney Member Find all posts View Profile Close Rooney]

There are a few ways to rig a door to see if someone has entered. A small piece of paper tucked under the door with just a little piece sticking out. The scotch tape idea will work as well (If) the person does not notice it. Closing the door with a hair in it works great as well. The main thing is making it discreet.

I rigged a door for a friend of mine with a door contact (magnetic switch) and wired it to a small LED light in his bedroom. When someone opened the door the switch would trip a latching relay that would keep the light on, even after the door was shut. We placed another contact switch next to his bedroom window so when he left he would take the magnet part of the switch with him and the system would be active. He could also see the little led light from his window. It only took a couple days for him to know someone was entering his apartment after he left. Then he placed a small camera facing the door with a trigger to the contact. It was the person that lived at the apartment before him. They didn't change the locks after he moved out. Luckily he wasn't ripped off for more than some food and a jacket. The guy was homeless after being evicted. The apartment manager changed the locks and gave him credit on his rent for the missing stuff. The homeless guy got 3 squares and a cot for a couple days then found a shelter. A year later the guy stopped at my friends apartment and handed him $200 and apologized. My friend told him to give it to the shelter.

[CameraMan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CameraMan]

Couldn't you change the lock?

[officerchick Member Find all posts View Profile Close officerchick]

Couldn't you change the lock?

Technically, yes. But her name is on the lease, so they would still let her in. We're in an apartment complex, all she has to do is say she lost/forgot her key. We're both known in the office, they wouldn't challenge her. And I know from experience that they require the signature/agreement of all parties before taking someone's name off the lease.

If I know for sure she's going in, that gives me standing to throw her out and take further action, although there's really no legal action I can take.

[NRM_Oz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NRM_Oz]

You might go bald with this 007 trick with the hair, etc but the best one is a small strip of paper at the top of the door frame (sorry OC but I know you are height challenged from a previous post) so when the door is opened it will fly off without being noticed. Try it for the practice and you will see things first hand.

When I worked CPP for 1 female client, we posed as husband and wife a few times (seperate beds). I would use the same tricks for unguarded rooms or inside an office that was to be secured. It does work but you need to practice and make sure you know WHERE to place the paper.

[bpdblue Member Find all posts View Profile Close bpdblue]

You Better Be Careful How You Handle This!!!!!!

Ok, I hate to bring this up, but it sounds like you are finished with your partner, so I will tell you what I told everyone (while I was A police officer), that you need to end this game.

You cannot legally lock her out of the apartment, especially if she is on the lease. You are dealing with civil law in regard to that respect, and (at least in California) YOU can get into trouble changing locks and such.

You also cannot give her any rules about when she can come and go.

If someone has taken up residency in a residence (ie-apartment) they don't even have to be listed on the lease to be considered as much a tenant as you, even if you are the one paying all the rent.

So, your choices are to just leave her alone and stay there, to ask her to voluntarily take her name off the lease and voluntarily move out, for you to go to court and try to have her evicted (and you better be able to show cause for this move), or YOU have to move out and take your name off the lease (if your manager lets you.)

You should remember that if your personal property turns up missing or damaged you can make police reports, and if you can tie her to it so much the better. That would help you with trying to get her evicted.

Something to remember, when it comes to these types of situations, the other party often will not take anything you do lightly, and may themselves try to make things difficult for you, as in have others come in to live with them as a partner, and you cannot say "NO," as your partner lives there too. If it violates management rules, that may help you get your partner evicted, maybe not.

I know spending extra money for you is not a good thing, but depending on how bad the situation gets for you, you may want to seek legal councel with someone who specializes in this area of civil law. Your area may also have a low cost lawyer referral service, that charge a lower fee service.

GOOD LUCK.

[NRM_Oz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NRM_Oz]

3 months is the legal minimum for a defacto relationship regardless of hetero or same sex couples. I know when my ex and I split she tried to tell the courts we were a defacto but living in a security complex you had individual keys as your ID which you paid a $350 deposit on each one. Site access records showed her absent for a month and then a week onsite and another 3 weeks absent (so she was not living with me -especially when I was 10,000 miles away at the time in the USA.

[junkyarddog Member Find all posts View Profile Close junkyarddog]

If it is worth it to you, buy a silent door sensor with a counter that tracks how many times a door is used. Or something like this
that sends a text message to your cell every time the door is opened. Relatively inexpensive.

[UtahProtectionForce Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UtahProtectionForce]

a lil more on the joking side..... not to really do..

put pepperspray on the door knob after you leave :P and when you come back wipe it off with a tower and decon, if she has gone in before this is done youll know

[officerchick Member Find all posts View Profile Close officerchick]

a lil more on the joking side..... not to really do..

put pepperspray on the door knob after you leave :P and when you come back wipe it off with a tower and decon, if she has gone in before this is done youll know

Bingo!! Perfect solution

bpdblue, thanks for your concern and suggestions. In a nutshell, she has been placed on a Safety Plan by her therapist and is not allowed in the house without me or in a room/area alone with the animals. I have to directly supervise all her interactions with our animals. She beat the dog again, and in my stupid weakness I failed to throw her out then, as I'd already told her I would do. The Safety Plan is modelled after child services, and means that if we both fail to comply then the therapist will report for animal cruelty and have the animals removed. I have already told her that there is no way, no how I'm losing my animals, so either she complies with the Plan or she's gone. She knows that separation is a very real possibility.

I don't know if any of you have heard of Munchausen's-by-proxy, but I have reason to believe she's poisoned at least one of the animals. I don't know where she keeps it or what she used, although I have suspicions. So as much as anything, I'm looking for a supportable reason to get her out at this point. We were supposed to see her therapist yesterday, who has a very good handle on what she's doing and how out of control she was, but the therapist was ill. We go on Monday, and I left the therapist a message that I need to plan for a formal separation. The therapist has done a lot of work with both child and animal protection, and is very familiar with courts and abusive situations, which I hate to have to acknowledge this is.

Ok, that was a big nutshell. More like a coconut shell. Sorry to lay all this out, it's just that it's consuming the bulk of my physical and emotional energy at this time. But thanks for your support and suggestions.