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n Honour of Stupid People:
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Woolworth's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom)
" Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Pick n' Pay's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
" Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????. ..)
On a Clicks hair dryer -
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Simba Chips --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary!
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dove soap -
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
On some Checkers frozen dinners -
" Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(please note that it's just a suggestion.)
On the packaging of a Rowenta iron -
" Don't iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???.. ..)
On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts -
[1] Open packet;
[2] Eat nuts.
(Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(Don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a German chainsaw ..
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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