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You might be a Redneck if........

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  • You might be a Redneck if........

    1- You start a fight and your wife finishes it.
    2- At the country club, you make your mother-in-law get out of the truck at the BAG DROP sign.
    3- You and your wife have the same haircut.
    4- There are big rigs named after your sisters,
    5- The "Glamour Shots" people gave you your money back.
    6- You hear someone talking about "The King" and your unsure if they are talking about Elvis or Richard Petty.
    7- Truckers tell your wife to watch her language.
    " We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on one hand and of overwhelming force on the other" - General George C. Marshall

  • #2
    lol well hank looks like i just might be a northern redneck lol

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    • #3
      Originally posted by jaybird33081 View Post
      lol well hank looks like i just might be a northern redneck lol
      LOL! As I understand it, you don't have to be from the south to be one. LOL!
      " We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on one hand and of overwhelming force on the other" - General George C. Marshall

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      • #4
        ...ammunition is on your list to Santa.
        "Gun control, the theory that 110lb. women have the "right" to fistfight with 210lb. rapists. " Author Unknown

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        • #5
          All of your best photo's are framed with your favorite old toilet seats.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by bpdblue View Post
            All of your best photo's are framed with your favorite old toilet seats.
            LMAO You guys make me waff Hank1's is awesome to!
            2- At the country club, you make your mother-in-law get out of the truck at the BAG DROP sign.

            Would this be a good one? You might be a redneck if...you handcuff a suspect and put the cuffs on yourself instead!
            "Life In Every Breath"

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            • #7
              And, you might be a redneck if...

              1. You and your dog use the same tree.

              2. You've been married 3 times...and still have the same in-laws.

              3. You watch Jerry Springer to see what your neighbors have been up to.

              4. You've got dog hair in your belly button.

              5. Your gas cap is a rag. That's okay, though, because at least your truck's a snappy two-tone...primer red and primer gray.

              6. You start a fight...and your wife finishes it.

              7. You ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

              8. You refer to the 5th grade as "the best four years of my life."

              9. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your mother.

              10. You dated your daddy's wife in high school.

              11. You have ever used a toilet brush as a back-scratcher.

              12. Your family has ever waited for a call from the Governor to spare the life of a loved one.

              13. You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

              14. Your brother-in-law is your grandfather AND your uncle.

              15. You hide the kid's Easter eggs under cow pies.

              16. Any of your kids were delivered on a pool table.

              17. You only need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie from the House of Tattoos.

              18. You've nailed up beer bottle caps around your front door to make it look nice. Two more beers and the project will be done.

              19. Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign hanging from the back end.

              20. You have flowers planted in stained bathroom fixtures scattered around your front yard.

              21. There are big rigs that have your sister's name painted on them.

              22. You have ever painted a car with house paint.

              23. You think "fast food" means running over a possum at 65 mph.

              24. You think "genitalia" is an Italian airline.

              25. You use a belt buckle for ID.

              ...and you might be a redneck if:

              ...Your mom got into a fistfight with Grandma at Grandpa's funeral over who had the right to call herself "the widow".
              Last edited by SecTrainer; 12-18-2007, 02:55 PM.
              "Every betrayal begins with trust." - Brian Jacques

              "I can't predict the future, but I know that it'll be very weird." - Anonymous

              "There is nothing new under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 1:9

              "History, with all its volumes vast, hath but one page." - Lord Byron

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              • #8
                Maybe Foxworthy will read this thread
                "Life In Every Breath"

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by SecTrainer View Post
                  25. You use a belt buckle for ID.
                  All true rednecks know your belt has your name on it (back), and your buckle tells those around you of your occupation and/or hobbies.

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                  • #10
                    I had one of my techs helping me wrap some presents I had to ship today. She was wrapping the "carpet skates" and asked what they were. I said you strap em on your feet so you can slide around on the carpet. She said they used to do that with plastic trash bags on there feet.

                    Really, I said "you might be a redneck if".
                    sigpic
                    Rocket Science
                    Making everything else look simple, since 1958.


                    http://my.opera.com/integrator/blog/
                    One Man's Opinion

                    The Future. It isn't what it used to be.

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                    • #11
                      First time I came online I got introduced to the Redneck Jokes and that was about 10 years ago ...................... I did see the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on Cable ........... but it is people making jokes about themselves which always goes over well.

                      Then ................. Oz discovers this bloke called Springer on Cable ..... and used to sit and laugh at the set ups and biffo between the women who stolen each other's teeth and looks.
                      "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" Sun Tzu

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                      • #12
                        I found this on the web a couple years ago.

                        You might be a redneck if your houseboat looks like this...
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                        Attached Files

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                        • #13
                          Thats a real nice house boat!
                          ATTN. SPECOPS AND GECKO45 my secret username is CIDDECEP and I am your S2. My authorization code is Six Wun Quebec Oscar Fife. Your presence here is tactically dangerous and compromises our overall mission parameter. Cease and desist all activity on this board. Our “enemies” are deft at computer hacking and may trace you back to our primary locale. You have forced me to compromise my situation to protect your vulnerable flank. This issue will be addressed later.

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