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Humour about Global Police Officers

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  • Humour about Global Police Officers

    Question: How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer, Australian Police Officer, and an American Police Officer ?
    Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    CANADIAN POLICE OFFICER Answer: (Immediate thought processes)
    Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan? Does he prefer to communicate in English or French? Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion? Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?

    Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya? Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone including his dog? Is the alleged 'client' a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group? Is he just a squeegee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the mean streets?

    Is he a member of a gang that is just 'misunderstood' by society? Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn't know how to approach the police?

    Is he recently released on parole and hasn't been properly integrated back into the community? Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome and just doesn't understand what he is doing?

    Is he a member of the Muslim community or other visible minority group? Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

    AUSTRALIAN OFFICER Answer: BANG!

    AMERICAN OFFICER Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    Click.... (reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

    Can I add to this joke by playing the COPS Theme Song in the back ground ?
    Last edited by NRM_Oz; 11-12-2007, 03:15 AM.
    "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" Sun Tzu

  • #2
    NRM Oz, that was cute. I met a couple of RCMP who would dispute how a Canadian would respond.
    Now with a .45 Lawman +P+ round, I should think two or three would be an elegant sufficiency.
    Enjoy the day,
    Bill

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    • #3
      Well, for one, I'm not a cop... the only question in that situation would be who would be quicker on the draw, me or my wife.
      Overmotivated and Underpaid... I'm a Security supervisors wet dream...

      Comment


      • #4
        In the redneck mountains of Georgia, we just strap 'em to a tree and let the mountain lions take care of 'em.
        It takes an officer to screw up to make a really good officer.

        Comment


        • #5
          This would be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya. As I was hugging him I would take away his knife and cut a basketball size hole in his stomach. I would then stick my head through the hole to see if he had any back up. If the coast was clear I would drop him and explain to my wife and kid that dealing with bad people is like a round of golf. Always go for a hole in one. Then the three of us would walk on buy humming Koombaya.
          THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME FOR A 911 CALL IS FOUR MINUTES
          THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME FOR A .357 MAGNUM ROUND IS 1400 FEET PER SECOND?
          http://www.boondocksaints.com/

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          • #6
            Was the American one of those officers from Ohio or something, where they fired about 15 rounds from 5 feet or so and no one was hit . Is that why he fired so many times.

            Boy, I'm probably gonna get flamed for this.
            sigpic
            Rocket Science
            Making everything else look simple, since 1958.


            http://my.opera.com/integrator/blog/
            One Man's Opinion

            The Future. It isn't what it used to be.

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            • #7
              [QUOTE=NRM_Oz;45216
              [U]CANADIAN POLICE OFFICER Answer:[/U] (Immediate thought processes)
              Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan? Does he prefer to communicate in English or French? Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion? Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?

              Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya? Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone including his dog? Is the alleged 'client' a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group? Is he just a squeegee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the mean streets?

              Is he a member of a gang that is just 'misunderstood' by society? Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn't know how to approach the police?

              Is he recently released on parole and hasn't been properly integrated back into the community? Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome and just doesn't understand what he is doing?

              Is he a member of the Muslim community or other visible minority group? Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

              QUOTE]

              Very funny, eh...

              Hey!!! How come the American always gets the Hollywood clip???
              I'm the guy you don't want to be around when your doing something wrong, but you can't wait for me to get there when your down, to fix you up...

              If you don't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.

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              • #8
                [QUOTE=JB diligence;45267]
                Originally posted by NRM_Oz;45216
                [U
                CANADIAN POLICE OFFICER Answer:[/U] (Immediate thought processes)
                Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan? Does he prefer to communicate in English or French? Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion? Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?

                Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya? Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone including his dog? Is the alleged 'client' a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group? Is he just a squeegee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the mean streets?

                Is he a member of a gang that is just 'misunderstood' by society? Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn't know how to approach the police?

                Is he recently released on parole and hasn't been properly integrated back into the community? Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome and just doesn't understand what he is doing?

                Is he a member of the Muslim community or other visible minority group? Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

                QUOTE]

                Very funny, eh...

                Hey!!! How come the American always gets the Hollywood clip???
                We invented the Hollywood clip.

                But it took an Italian to actually show the gun in the same frame as the dead man.
                Some Kind of Commando Leader

                "Every time I see another crazy Florida post, I'm glad I don't work there." ~ Minneapolis Security on Florida Security Law

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                • #9
                  Way Funny

                  NRM Oz,

                  Ok, you got me, that was very FUNNY.

                  But, in all seriousness, for any of you terrorists out there, in regard about the american's response, IT"S TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and don't expect anything less.

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                  • #10
                    This came from an email alert I receive every week. I knew more about the 9/11 stuff and was USING these alerts for my employer at the time rather than routers or CNN ?

                    Yes I agree it had me wiping coffee off the monitor again ............. just a bit of fun for all of us to forget about work for a short time. Cheers, All.
                    "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" Sun Tzu

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Very funny Oz!

                      Be Safe,

                      Hank
                      " We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on one hand and of overwhelming force on the other" - General George C. Marshall

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