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the weirdest question ever been asked while on duty

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  • #16
    While on patrol, I saw a woman who was lying on the ground, under a parked truck, in her bra and panties. This was at approx 2:00 am. I thought she might be dead. I radio'ed it in, hit her up with all my patrol car's lights, and began to get out of my car.

    At that time she climbed out from under the truck, ran to my patrol car, jumped in the back seat, and asked me to arrest her. I told her to get out of my car. By now my cover units were arriving. (I only wanted one, but when the guys hear this type of call everyone wants to come.)

    She told me she would not get out. I had not invited her into my car, so she was going to get out. I couldn't threaten her with arrest, because that's what she said she wanted. All my cover units were rolling around laughing. That got her upset enough to get out.

    I asked her why she was out in her current state of dress (it was cold out too. She was not drunk or under the influence of any illgal substance.), she then asked me nicely to arrest her. I asked her why I should. She told me she had some warrants. I ran her out, and son-of-a-gun, she did, so I arrested her, and then I invited her into the back seat for the trip to jail.

    Well, I put on the charm and got the answer for what was going on. She was in her apartment with her boyfriend, pi**ed him off (while in her then current state of dress) and she ran out of the apartment because she was afraid he was going to beat her.

    She was pleased as punch that I came around to rescue her. All these years later it still cracks me up as one of those silly things you just never even think will happen, then it does.

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    • #17
      bpdblue, don't you love those MasterCard moments? They are absolutely priceless.
      Enjoy the day,
      Bill

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      • #18
        Lost Tourist in Sydney.

        Q: `Scuse please .............. where is this ?

        Me: Ummmmmmmm this is a map of the wrong city - you need one of Sydney.

        Female Backpacker
        Q: How long is the next bus ?
        Me: About 16 metres and a bit more ............. no seriously you have missed the buses they finish at 0130 on a week night.

        Q: How am I supposed to get home ?
        Me: Walk, taxi, just be careful walking through Hyde Park alone at night

        Q: Are YOU going to pay for me to get a taxi home ?
        Me: No sorry I work on the transit buses so this has nothing to do with me.

        Q: Will you give me a free ticket ?
        Me: No I have to pay for mine and so will you


        Dishonest Employee Interview

        Her: Can I ask you a question ...... if you knew I stole the $39k from the company, why are you doing this interview ?
        Me: I need to give every employee I investigate the opportunity to give me there version of events.

        Her: So what if I told you I had taken more ............ what are you going to do about it then ?
        Me: What do you mean by this ?

        Her: I took alot more than that small amount in the last few years and there is nothing else you can do about it now, is there ?
        Me: How much would you say it was ?

        Her: I would say about $110k maybe more. But there is nothing you can do about it now right ? Can you arrest me for it ?
        Me: I need to confirm the truth behind what you said unless you can give me details.

        She got done for $130k over 4 years and so did her sister for about the same amount.
        Last edited by NRM_Oz; 11-09-2007, 12:47 AM.
        "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" Sun Tzu

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        • #19
          Originally posted by NRM_Oz View Post
          She got done for $130k over 4 years and so did her sister for about the same amount.
          OMG!!!!!! Nice!!!!
          It takes an officer to screw up to make a really good officer.

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          • #20
            Don't know about the weirdest ?, but here's the stupidest one:

            While standing under the big blue sign that says "RESTROOMS" someone inevitibly always asks "Where's the bathroom?"
            It takes an officer to screw up to make a really good officer.

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            • #21
              The stupid question that irks me most is when, despite having the word "security" emblazoned on four different places on my uniform (on my hat, on my badge patch, on my shoulder patch, and across my back), people ask if I'm a police officer. Why do people not take the time to read anymore?

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              • #22
                Ok some more classics:

                Drunken Passenger: Why won't you let me on the bus ?
                Me: You are both intoxicated and if you sober up can go on the next one in 20 minutes.
                DP: Well F. YOU ....... we are not that drunk (he hails a cab and delivers a pavement pizza all over the backseat).
                Me: Glad I did not let get on the bus now
                Bus Driver: So am I - it would have been my bus too.

                VIP Function where I was working as front of house manager.

                Angry Woman: I want to come in - let me in now - I am running late.
                Me: Do you have a ticket madam ?
                AW: I did not bring it with me - let me in.
                Me: Madam, may I have your name so I may check the guest list ?
                AW: You should know who I am. Are you stupid ?
                Me: Madam, your name please ?
                AW: (Gives false name of VIP Guest) now let me in.
                Me: How are you feeling tonight, Madam ?
                AW: What do you mean, how am I feeling ? I am angry with you !!
                Me: This guest broke her leg today and is wearing a leg cast. She is almost 70 and you appear much younger with no cast.
                AW: Don't bother - you people will hear from my lawyer and pay for this
                Me: Thank you and have a good evening madam.

                Bus Stupidity

                Him: Can I take my Macca's (McDonalds) on the bus and eat it on the way home ?
                Me: No but you can ask the bus driver if he may let you as I won't.
                Him: Why not ?
                Me: It is not a mobile restaurant so you can ask him if he may let you.
                Him: Can't you just tell him to let me eat on the bus ?
                No: Once he leaves the bus-stop he is in charge like a ship's captain.
                Him: I eat in my car all the time - so I won't be a problem.
                Me: Perhaps next time you could drive home your car home so you can eat drving home.
                Him: Are you telling me not to catch the bus next time ?
                Me: No I just suggested you a way to get home and eat as well.
                Him: So I can't eat on the bus ?
                Me: No.
                Last edited by NRM_Oz; 11-13-2007, 06:59 PM.
                "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" Sun Tzu

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by tattedupboy View Post
                  The stupid question that irks me most is when, despite having the word "security" emblazoned on four different places on my uniform (on my hat, on my badge patch, on my shoulder patch, and across my back), people ask if I'm a police officer. Why do people not take the time to read anymore?
                  Don't act like you don't like it.
                  Anything that hits the fan,
                  Will not be evenly distributed.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by LP9999 View Post
                    Don't know about the weirdest ?, but here's the stupidest one:

                    While standing under the big blue sign that says "RESTROOMS" someone inevitibly always asks "Where's the bathroom?"
                    i know that question really well i use to work for knott's berry farm
                    if you run, you will just go to jail tired

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