Well, I give up. I've apparently just won the 2,462nd lottery that I never entered - this one in the amount of 6 billion trotzkis, which at the current exchange rate equals about $17.36 US. I have the option of taking it all at once (they will rent me a wheelbarrow to carry it home for just 7 billion trotzkis) or in payments over 35 years. In order to collect, I just have to send them a $9000 winner processing fee. Seems fair enough to me.
I've been refusing to accept these staggering winnings up until now, on the theory that poverty gives you a sense of appreciation of the ordinary things of life - like peanut butter - but at last I give up. I can't fight them. If these lottery operators in Latvia, Romania and Lower Slobovia will keep insisting on shoving purses of gold at me, I suppose it's mighty discourteous of me to continue to refuse their benificent gifts.
No doubt, then, my next post will be from my new villa somewhere on the Riviera, but I assure all my dear friends on the forum that wealth will not change me in any way and I'll always still be ready to knock back a beer and share a pretzel with you poor working stiffs - just as long as you don't try to borrow money from me. Villas on the Riviera don't come cheap, you know.
I've been refusing to accept these staggering winnings up until now, on the theory that poverty gives you a sense of appreciation of the ordinary things of life - like peanut butter - but at last I give up. I can't fight them. If these lottery operators in Latvia, Romania and Lower Slobovia will keep insisting on shoving purses of gold at me, I suppose it's mighty discourteous of me to continue to refuse their benificent gifts.
No doubt, then, my next post will be from my new villa somewhere on the Riviera, but I assure all my dear friends on the forum that wealth will not change me in any way and I'll always still be ready to knock back a beer and share a pretzel with you poor working stiffs - just as long as you don't try to borrow money from me. Villas on the Riviera don't come cheap, you know.
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