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  • Affection in Uniform?

    My 'significant other' consistently tries to be 'lovey-dovey' with me in public when I'm in uniform. I have explained to her numerous times that I am uncomfortable with this. When in uniform, especially, I always keep a mind to act in a professional manner whether I'm at work or not. Because we use public transportation, I am often uniformed in public for up to several hours before and after shift.

    She continues to try to 'hang' on me, lean on me, sleep on my shoulder on the bus, kiss me, etc. and gets mad when I hold back from her.

    What are your thoughts on affection in uniform? (Not those thoughts, we all know that's fun at first but I want your mature, professional thoughts ). Do/would you hug or kiss your significant other in uniform, even if off duty? Where would you draw the line?
    Last edited by officerchick; 01-11-2008, 01:02 PM. Reason: repeated a word
    That's a direct quote. Not word for word, but the gist of it.

  • #2
    Is this the same person you have posted elswhere about having troubles with in your home?
    Retail Security Consultant / Expert Witness
    Co-Author - Effective Security Management 6th Edition

    Contributor to Retail Crime, Security and Loss Prevention: An Encyclopedic Reference

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Curtis Baillie View Post
      Is this the same person you have posted elswhere about having troubles with in your home?
      That would be the one. I'm specifically asking about this aspect, though, as it's something I've never been comfortable with, troubles or not.
      That's a direct quote. Not word for word, but the gist of it.

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      • #4
        IMO, A hug and or kiss is okay. I've done it and will do it again (I hope, lol) but being overly affectionate in my mind is unprofessional.
        "What if this is as good as it gets?" ~ Melvin Udall

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        • #5
          When my girlfriend comes to visit me at work, she usually gives me a big hug and a kiss. Nobody seems bothered by it really. In fact, a few of the store employees have told me it's "adorable how cute we are."

          I'd just make sure it doesn't get too carried away, though, if you know what I mean. Use common sense and you should be alright.
          111th PAPD Class
          Bravo Platoon 4th Squad

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          • #6
            The thing is you asked her to stop and she didn't. If you were okay with I wouldn't see a problem but the fact you weren't okay with and asked her no to and she still did it is a lack of respect that would be a huge issue with me.

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            • #7
              Craig- good point.
              111th PAPD Class
              Bravo Platoon 4th Squad

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              • #8
                Originally posted by craig333 View Post
                The thing is you asked her to stop and she didn't. If you were okay with I wouldn't see a problem but the fact you weren't okay with and asked her no to and she still did it is a lack of respect that would be a huge issue with me.
                Very true, and that lack of respect has increased my discomfort with it. I'm just wondering how others feel about it in general.
                That's a direct quote. Not word for word, but the gist of it.

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                • #9
                  In general, people do not need to touch me at work in public. For starters, if someone dislikes me, hey look! A secondary target that will leave the area that they can vent their... frustrations... out on.
                  Some Kind of Commando Leader

                  "Every time I see another crazy Florida post, I'm glad I don't work there." ~ Minneapolis Security on Florida Security Law

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by N. A. Corbier View Post
                    In general, people do not need to touch me at work in public. For starters, if someone dislikes me, hey look! A secondary target that will leave the area that they can vent their... frustrations... out on.
                    Bingo. One BIG reason right there to keep the affection to off-duty (aka out-of-uniform) time.

                    My significant other is also in this line of work, (same company, in fact.. just a different division), and when we're on duty it's strictly professional. Our fellow Officers know what's up, but nobody else would be able to tell from our conduct when we're in uniform.

                    Granted, your significant other may not be in this line of work and may not understand the need for professionalism, but if you've explained it to her and asked her to stop, she needs to respect your wishes and do so.
                    Corbier's Commandos - "Stickin it to the ninjas!"
                    Originally posted by ValleyOne
                    BANG, next thing you know Bob's your Uncle and this Sgt is seemingly out on his a$$.
                    Shoulda called in sick.
                    Be safe!

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                    • #11
                      Affection in uniform is unprofessional in my opinion. If you need to use public transportation, I would recommend a cover up garment so your uniform is not visible.
                      ATTN. SPECOPS AND GECKO45 my secret username is CIDDECEP and I am your S2. My authorization code is Six Wun Quebec Oscar Fife. Your presence here is tactically dangerous and compromises our overall mission parameter. Cease and desist all activity on this board. Our “enemies” are deft at computer hacking and may trace you back to our primary locale. You have forced me to compromise my situation to protect your vulnerable flank. This issue will be addressed later.

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                      • #12
                        whenever in public, i always have my husband shake my hand while im in uniform, to retain professionalism :P however when at home, thats a different story...
                        Its not how we die that counts.....
                        Its not how we lived that counts....
                        all that matters is how we saved that one life that one time by being in the right place at the right time....

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Minneapolis Security View Post
                          Affection in uniform is unprofessional in my opinion. If you need to use public transportation, I would recommend a cover up garment so your uniform is not visible.
                          I try to have a 'cover up garment' as you suggest, or to take off my uniform shirt and put it in my bag. I can't always do that though, if it's too hot to wear a jacket or too cold to take off the shirt, etc.

                          In general, people do not need to touch me at work in public. For starters, if someone dislikes me, hey look! A secondary target that will leave the area that they can vent their... frustrations... out on.
                          An excellent point that I have been concerned about but may not have expressed as such.
                          That's a direct quote. Not word for word, but the gist of it.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by SecureTN View Post
                            IMO, A hug and or kiss is okay. I've done it and will do it again (I hope, lol) but being overly affectionate in my mind is unprofessional.
                            Agreed, a simple hug or peck, I think, makes us look a little more human. But, you need to be aware of who you're around at the same time. Minnesota has a very large Somali population. One of our officers gave his girlfriend of 2 years a kiss on the cheek before he parted ways with her to respond to a call (she works there too, not in security), and a Somali gentleman filed a formal complaint stating that they were "making out" in the hallway. So you do need to use discretion....
                            Apparently a HUGE cop wannabe...

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                            • #15
                              Personally I keep it professional in the public eye. When it comes to a hug for greeting I do it in the office or if I escort her to her car I'll give her a hug then but I try to keep it all to a minimum in public, for all the reasons listed.
                              -Protect and Serve-

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