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  • Caught in the Act .......

    Ok I am going to post this one here and hope it is the right spot.

    Without going into polaroid pictures, have you ever busted or observed others in the middle of having a `naughty` whilst on duty ?

    Working o/night guarding a festival's set up in an open park, at around 0230 we get a welfare check by the local police who alert us to some movement inside one of the stall tents. We all investigate the tent and when our maglites light up the scene, we see a couple going for it as the poor girl covers her face as the male continues his activities. They are asked to move on without any fuss and I make a brief note. At 0615 my partner and I grab a quick breakfast and my partner spots the same couple sitting near us. They point to us and ghiggle before thanking us for not arresting them. As they leave they smile and unknow to us had paid for our breakfast before they leave.
    "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" Sun Tzu

  • #2
    I was a cop during the "generation of free love". It wasn't the least bit uncommon to "go dark" and glide down to where there was a parking area beside the river, finding couples, triples, quadruples and more cavorting in the nood in the moonlight...."cavorting" referring to everything up to and including sex that involved barnyard animals, vegetables and assorted fruit.

    So, you light 'em up, and most of 'em just stand there with their unmentionables quivering in the breeze, not making the slightest move to cover up. A few scatter. Some are laughing. Several of them usually invite us to join the party. The women seem to want to rub up against you if they can get that close. Since you can smell most of these females a mile away, this attempted rubbing is not the least bit tempting, believe me, and if you're not careful it could gag you off of any desire for sexual relations permanently.

    A few are less than friendly, and the word "pig" figures prominently in their verbalizations. Oinking sounds resonate in the cool night air as these mental midgets display their virtuosity. You enjoy the concert, making note of those who you think are good enough to be invited to play a command performance for the inmates of the local jail. (This is actually the origin of "American Idol", incidentally, as you and your partner give the oinkers ratings from 0 to 10. Those who are currently blowing weed will get confused and mix chicken clucks in with their oinks, which obviously destroys the desired effect.)

    Call for the Black Maria and haul the most talented performers away, along with the ones who blow weed in your face or utter dark nameless threats to your person.

    Then, you wind up cooling your heels in court for hours on your day off. The "trials" consist of:

    ___________________________________

    JUDGE: Officer, what did this (rather enchanting) young lady do?

    SELF: Your Honor, the defendant was found to be completely nude in a public place while stuffing various items of fruits and vegetables up inside her person.

    JUDGE (casting an interested eye at the defendant and waggling his eyebrows): Oh, yes? Could you be more specific, officer? By that, I mean would you please be MUCH more specific as to the particular item of fruit employed, and exactly what you mean by "stuffing", how vigorously, and all of that sort of thing? Omit no details from your testimony, officer, however insignificant they might be.

    (Odd rhythmic motions can now be observed beneath the judge's robes.)

    SELF: Your Honor, it was a banana and a cucumber, and by "stuffing", I mean...well, stuffing and/or shoving the item enthusiastically within...(would you please stop whatever that is that you're doing there, Your Honor?!)...

    JUDGE (panting a bit): Unfortunately, the court has difficulty understanding precisely what you mean, officer. Perhaps the defendant would kindly consent to repeat her activity for the enlightenment of the court.. Do we have a banana and a cucumber available, purely for purposes of demonstration, of course? No? Well get them, and be quick about it!

    We must include the noodity, of course, as the court desires to leave no stone unturned here in the search for justice... The defendant may entrust her clothing in complete confidence (in particular her underclothing) here with myself...What's that? The defendant is not wearing underclothing? OH BOY!...er, I mean, very well.

    DEMONSTRATION IS CONCLUDED WHILE THE JUDGE IS REVIVED BY CARDIOPULMONARY RESUSCITATION.

    The defendant is found guilty but sentence is suspended if she would visit the judge in his private chambers for a few minutes to work out the details.....

    _______________________________________

    The judge then passes out his private number to everyone in court, inviting them to call him the next time they plan a party down at the river, as he's always looking for something new to while away a balmy summer evening.

    It was all so useless, really, and morals in society were definitely changing. I didn't sign on to be a "morality cop". If these people had been out on Main Street, it would have been different, but....

    RESULT: Bust up the party once in awhile, keep an eye on things in case they get out of hand, but concentrate on the serious crimes in town that are really causing you headaches. If you happen to have a slow night and it's getting too crazy down by the river, maybe you take a few of them in, maybe you just run them down the river to the next town. Spread the joy around, was my attitude.
    Last edited by SecTrainer; 11-07-2007, 06:30 PM.
    "Every betrayal begins with trust." - Brian Jacques

    "I can't predict the future, but I know that it'll be very weird." - Anonymous

    "There is nothing new under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 1:9

    "History, with all its volumes vast, hath but one page." - Lord Byron

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    • #3
      All the time in the hotel business! In the stairways, on top of the dryer in the laundromat, in the General Manager's chair
      I enforce rules and regulations, not laws.
      Security Officers. The 1st First Responders.

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      • #4
        Ongoing problem where I work, everything from the, free love generation to first timers, gay to lezbefriends. The basement car parks lighting goes off in stages and Stage 1 is in the deepest darkest corner of the complex. It seems to draw people to it like a magnet. But they all seem to get some what spooked when you walk up and shine a torch at them.

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        • #5
          Boys and girls, wait for the reaction from fellow officers and those stopped when a K-9 smells the crotch of a rather unkept female and the dog starts rubbing his muzzle in the grass and the handler loudly states, "Lady, you runt my dog." You never forget a MasterCard moment like that.
          Enjoy the day,
          Bill

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          • #6
            I had to go away and come back as I was trying to each lunch when I read that last post ................. I don't think I will have dinner tonight now. It is as bad as the homeless woman who would `try out` the fragrances in one my stores and would squirt everywhere and then put on a show for the customers and CCTV - always after I had lunch !!

            Mind you an ex partner used to tell me about `Debbie` who when he first started would be the reception girl and would sometimes work till midnight and have 4 or more S/O's come into the night reception area for a chat and coffee and some would come back again that same night. The record was 6 visitors from 1600 - 2300 before she finished her shift.
            "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" Sun Tzu

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            • #7
              Bill that was just bad, yet made me laugh...

              More times than I can count I have rolled up on a couple on a romantic interlude... Haven't we all been there?

              However, I make it a point during the contact and pay very close attention to look at the female in the eye and ask "is everything OK" while I focus on her reaction making it a point that I am asking her, as opposed to both. I could never forgive myself if I found out that someone was being hurt. If she say's no or help me, (though I have never been in that situation) It's not gunna be another see ya later. I really hope that I such a situation that she would let me know that I am her escape, then I guess I gotta deal with it from there.
              I'm the guy you don't want to be around when your doing something wrong, but you can't wait for me to get there when your down, to fix you up...

              If you don't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.

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              • #8
                One place I was posted, we'd check the exterior parking lots.

                On sundays, the gates would remain open for one lot as a favor for a local church. This was in downtown anchorage, so parking was at a relative premium.

                I noticed a green ford explorer sitting, running, with its taillights flashing intermittently. No rocking observable...

                I walked over since it was in my zone of influence, simply to tell the operator that he had a taillight out, as well as to see what's up.

                Apparently little miss fluffy rotencroch was stepping on the brake pedal whilst Sir lancelot was going for a gold medal in the skin diver olympics.

                I knocked on the window, since they obviously weren't churchgoing at 0100...


                Of course, nothing was better than catching some 20 y/o woman squat in the bushes in front of the building.. on video... And inviting her in for a cup of coffee then replaying it, asking her what she was doing. Don't think she's going to do that again.
                Overmotivated and Underpaid... I'm a Security supervisors wet dream...

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                • #9
                  Great paraphrasing Alaska I can see it now LOL.

                  But the last sentence I would strongly advise not doing again, especially with a member of the opposite sex. To many things can go wrong, ending your career as well as ruining your reputation regardless of it being complete BS, you're the one who has to prove otherwise.

                  Unfortunately trying to be nice isn't always the safest option anymore.
                  I'm the guy you don't want to be around when your doing something wrong, but you can't wait for me to get there when your down, to fix you up...

                  If you don't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Oh Boy ................. that would be one to NOT share with the team.

                    I worked a function security job for a harbour cruise firm every few weeks and recall 1 night on a private MUMS night out that had a few male dancers to strut their stuff. It was well behaved and back on land I was invited (pre wife days) to meet them at this night club. So changing from my uniform (I had a female partner as well), we heard 2 girls shouting to us. Karen my partner heard them ask about a toilet and point to some bushes behind a portable site shed as they waved and walked off.

                    About 30 seconds later we looked over as 1/2 dozen portable work lights (complete with generators) come on board and light up the place like Wriggley field with these 2 poor girls in mid-stream. About 2 dozen men had their noses pressed against the windows of this site office as all these women could do was finish their pit-stop and quietly make their way out of the area. Security staff recorded it and having shown it to everyone in the team were found guilty of breaching privacy and charged over it. 10 staff were given the arse for acting like idiots and distributing the footage on video.
                    "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" Sun Tzu

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by JB diligence View Post
                      Great paraphrasing Alaska I can see it now LOL.

                      But the last sentence I would strongly advise not doing again, especially with a member of the opposite sex. To many things can go wrong, ending your career as well as ruining your reputation regardless of it being complete BS, you're the one who has to prove otherwise.

                      Unfortunately trying to be nice isn't always the safest option anymore.
                      My supervisor was the one who went out to bring her in, he noticed her first and called me so he would have another person there. She apparently had a track record for hitting a bar nearby, then wobbling her way home and hitting the bushes on the way... every thursday, friday, and saturday. She had verbal shoo's in the past, and scurried away too quickly for the police to respond to... So, he figured he'd show her how come we knew every time she peed in our bushes, literally.
                      Overmotivated and Underpaid... I'm a Security supervisors wet dream...

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                      • #12
                        I've spotted enough of the "making out" groups that I got tired of it.

                        I had a way of making people go other places. Every time I would come upon a happy couple, or more than a couple, I would hit them up with my lights, contact them, get one of them out of their veh, or just separate them if not in a vehicle, ask the female and male if they were participating willingly, and if one of them even remotely looked under 18, would make them both produce I.D.

                        I never remember having to contact the same persons on another occasion, and as a bonus, I made a few good arrests for several different types of crimes, including some felonies.

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                        • #13
                          There were 2 events one summer that come to mind.
                          While on mobile patrol of a car dealership and checking door handles, it looked like a car off to one side moved. As I got closer, well, the young couple covered up and left. The lic number went on the report after contacting the office to be sure this car was not being taken from the lot.

                          Early one morning while driving north to another client and pulling up to a stop light, I saw a vehicle stopped at the west green traffic light. Of course by this time my Spiderman sense was alerted and informed dispatch of the problem and plate info. There was no other traffic around and drove closer, asking the female occupant if she was ok. No reponse and advised dispatch. Then the woman ( did I mention under dressed on the top half) sprang awake and drove off. The Police did catch up to her and I never got called for court at least.

                          Because Canada only has one day of summer there are few outside things to report.
                          Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
                          Groucho Marx

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