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  • Not famous quotes YOU use.

    On a take off of another thread, what are some of the quotes you say often. Funny or serious, silly or stupid. Even oldies but goodies. Put 'em all here.

    I'll start off.

    Flies time you when you're having fun.
    sigpic
    Rocket Science
    Making everything else look simple, since 1958.


    http://my.opera.com/integrator/blog/
    One Man's Opinion

    The Future. It isn't what it used to be.

  • #2
    Not famous quotes YOU use.

    No plan ,no attack, no attack, no victory , no victory, no ladies.


    Used ladies instead of the p word. I know how some of ya'll have virgin eyes never seen such words before.
    CAPTAIN KOOLAID 9594


    oh ya

    Comment


    • #3
      The four most important words to a security guard, as they will keep him/her out of a lot of trouble.....

      "I didn't see that"

      Comment


      • #4
        Where are my quarters?

        Comment


        • #5
          "Sorry Sir, but I've got anal glaucoma..."
          what's that mean?
          "That means I can't see my Azz doing that..."
          “Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left”
          "I swear to God, I'm going to pistol whip the next guy that says 'Shenanigans' "... Capt. O'Hagan, "Super Troopers"

          Comment


          • #6
            It was like that when I got here!
            ‎"If you can't tolerate humor directed at you, you do not deserve to be taken seriously"

            Comment


            • #7
              - If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail!

              - Fool-proof is not good enough; it must be idiot-proof because fools are so ingenious!

              - I don't recall that.

              - Check it, double check it, then check it again.

              - Always have a back-up plan for the back-up plan.
              Security: Freedom from fear; danger; safe; a feeling of well-being. (Webster's)

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Mr. Security View Post
                - - I don't recall that.
                I worked with someone that often said something similar - My memory fails me -
                Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
                Groucho Marx

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                • #9
                  I extracted the meat from the famous quote: "You talkin' to me? Huh? Are YOU talkin' to ME? Huh?" and shortened it to just:

                  "Huh?"

                  Repeat this after everything your supervisor says to you, and he'll leave you alone.

                  "I notice your log is not filled in."

                  "Huh?"

                  "...and the incident report you turned in last night has about a jillion misspelled words."

                  "Huh?"

                  "Your uniform looks like you slept in it."

                  "Huh?"

                  "...and you need a haircut"

                  "Huh?"

                  "Nevermind."

                  This works with the public, too:

                  "Can you direct me to the main office?"

                  "Huh?"

                  "Help! Officer! My husband was just murdered in the parking lot and they're raping my dog!"

                  "Huh?"

                  "My God! Security! Someone's firing RPG's at the facility!"

                  "Huh?"

                  "Huh?" can be modified to indicate assent or disagreement: "Uh-huh" and "Unh-unh", as well as surprise: "Uh-oh". With this vocabulary, you will be able to handle virtually everything that comes your way during the shift.
                  Last edited by SecTrainer; 10-13-2007, 11:43 AM.
                  "Every betrayal begins with trust." - Brian Jacques

                  "I can't predict the future, but I know that it'll be very weird." - Anonymous

                  "There is nothing new under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 1:9

                  "History, with all its volumes vast, hath but one page." - Lord Byron

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    When someone decides they dont want to identify themselves...

                    "You know, you dont need a name to go to jail, but you will need one to get out."
                    "Alright guys listen up, ya'll have probably heard this before, Jackson vs. Securiplex corporation; I am a private security officer, I have no State or governmental authority. I stand as an ordinary citizen. I have no right to; detain, interrogate or otherwise interfere with your personal property-... basically all that means is I'm a cop."-Officer Ernie
                    "The Curve" 1998

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                    • #11
                      Does working around here without hearing protection effect your hearing after a while?

                      Huh, what did you say? I didn't hear you.
                      Last edited by ddog; 10-13-2007, 02:43 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        "Boys, it's time to pick the fly sh*t out of the pepper."
                        "When you get home boys you'll find your wife just like you left her, freshly (you know)"
                        "Hurry up and wait"
                        Old military sayings

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                        • #13
                          A short pencil is better than a long memory.
                          I enforce rules and regulations, not laws.
                          Security Officers. The 1st First Responders.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by SecTrainer View Post
                            I extracted the meat from the famous quote: "You talkin' to me? Huh? Are YOU talkin' to ME? Huh?" and shortened it to just:

                            "Huh?"

                            Repeat this after everything your supervisor says to you, and he'll leave you alone.

                            "I notice your log is not filled in."

                            "Huh?"

                            "...and the incident report you turned in last night has about a jillion misspelled words."

                            "Huh?"

                            "Your uniform looks like you slept in it."

                            "Huh?"

                            "...and you need a haircut"

                            "Huh?"

                            "Nevermind."

                            This works with the public, too:

                            "Can you direct me to the main office?"

                            "Huh?"

                            "Help! Officer! My husband was just murdered in the parking lot and they're raping my dog!"

                            "Huh?"

                            "My God! Security! Someone's firing RPG's at the facility!"

                            "Huh?"

                            "Huh?" can be modified to indicate assent or disagreement: "Uh-huh" and "Unh-unh", as well as surprise: "Uh-oh". With this vocabulary, you will be able to handle virtually everything that comes your way during the shift.
                            I wanna work with this guy....this is brilliance. Absolute BRILLIANCE!
                            ‎"If you can't tolerate humor directed at you, you do not deserve to be taken seriously"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Electrical engineering is not an exact science.

                              It's not like CCTV is rocket surgery or anything.

                              I don't get paid to think, boss, you said so yourself.

                              I'm installing these cameras now. Go sell your drugs somewhere else, okay?

                              Hey, I don't care what you saw on CSI, when you enlarge a picture, it gets blurrier, not sharper. That's how it works.

                              No, I didn't install cameras in the bathroom. Go and pee in peace.

                              No, there are no hidden microphones here.

                              This CCTV system is legal in the eyes of God and the State of New York. If you think your civil liberties have been compromised, that's what we have a Supreme Court for.
                              The CCTV Blog.

                              "Expert" is something like "leader". It's not a title that you can ever claim for yourself no matter what you might know or might have done. It's a title that others bestow on you based on their assessment of what you know and what you have done.

                              -SecTrainer

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