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The Value of "Disconnect"

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  • The Value of "Disconnect"

    For most of us, "what you see is what you get". In other words, our presentation to people matches our feelings and our thoughts about them, and about our pre-conceptions regarding the situation. We telegraph everything that's in our minds by our facial expressions, the words we use and our demeanor.

    So...we think someone is up to no good and we present ourselves to them in a confrontative way. We think someone is suspicious, we make contact with them and present ourselves as being suspicious of them.

    There are several advantages to YOU in not wearing your thoughts and suspicions on your sleeve when dealing with people....in other words, "disconnecting" your presentation and demeanor from your innermost suspicions and thoughts.

    First (and this is no small deal)...you don't have egg all over your face if you're wrong, and the person you're dealing with turns out to have a perfectly legitimate reason for being <wherever> or doing <whatever>.

    Second...you are keeping your options open. By playing your cards last instead of "up front", you have the opportunity to gather a little bit more information before the other individual even realizes what's going on. All he knows is that a security officer has made a very "neutral" contact with him.

    Third...you maintain the initiative. It is ONLY when you telegraph "where you're going" by your approach that the other guy can start to think how he might get ahead of you.

    Fourth...the hesitation this neutral approach lays on the other guy might give you the few seconds you need to realize that this is indeed going to be worse than you thought, and summon aid or take cover.

    If I could sum up the lesson in a few words, it would be this: Even when you have a fairly high index of suspicion, be mysterious when making contact with people, and keep them guessing!! Don't come out of the gate challenging people (unless the situation is REALLY that obvious). Telegraph nothing by your facial expressions, your words or your demeanor. Never let the other guy know exactly why you've made contact with him or what your next move is going to be...until the right moment comes to spring the trap.

    Start with a pleasant, detached contact. Don't be afraid to appear somewhat naive or even "stupid" while the other guy tells you his story. "Uh-huh...yeah...I see. No kidding. Well, the problem is..." and suddenly, the perp has the cuffs on him or he's been ejected from the property before he even realizes what hit him...and that's exactly what you want.

    Now...compare this with an officer whose attitudes and expressions basically convey signals like "Who the hell are you, Buster?" or "Put up your dukes, Bub!" right from the git-go. Which officer is going to be more successful...and which one would YOU hire?
    Last edited by SecTrainer; 09-27-2007, 11:28 AM.
    "Every betrayal begins with trust." - Brian Jacques

    "I can't predict the future, but I know that it'll be very weird." - Anonymous

    "There is nothing new under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 1:9

    "History, with all its volumes vast, hath but one page." - Lord Byron

  • #2
    Originally posted by SecTrainer View Post
    For most of us, "what you see is what you get". In other words, our presentation to people matches our feelings and our thoughts about them, and about our pre-conceptions regarding the situation. We telegraph everything that's in our minds by our facial expressions, the words we use and our demeanor.

    So...we think someone is up to no good and we present ourselves to them in a confrontative way. We think someone is suspicious, we make contact with them and present ourselves as being suspicious of them.

    There are several advantages to YOU in not wearing your thoughts and suspicions on your sleeve when dealing with people....in other words, "disconnecting" your presentation and demeanor from your innermost suspicions and thoughts.

    First (and this is no small deal)...you don't have egg all over your face if you're wrong, and the person you're dealing with turns out to have a perfectly legitimate reason for being <wherever> or doing <whatever>.

    Second...you are keeping your options open. By playing your cards last instead of "up front", you have the opportunity to gather a little bit more information before the other individual even realizes what's going on. All he knows is that a security officer has made a very "neutral" contact with him.

    Third...you maintain the initiative. It is ONLY when you telegraph "where you're going" by your approach that the other guy can start to think how he might get ahead of you.

    Fourth...the hesitation this neutral approach lays on the other guy might give you the few seconds you need to realize that this is indeed going to be worse than you thought, and summon aid or take cover.

    If I could sum up the lesson in a few words, it would be this: Even when you have a fairly high index of suspicion, be mysterious when making contact with people, and keep them guessing!! Don't come out of the gate challenging people (unless the situation is REALLY that obvious). Telegraph nothing by your facial expressions, your words or your demeanor. Never let the other guy know exactly why you've made contact with him or what your next move is going to be...until the right moment comes to spring the trap.

    Start with a pleasant, detached contact. Don't be afraid to appear somewhat naive or even "stupid" while the other guy tells you his story. "Uh-huh...yeah...I see. No kidding. Well, the problem is..." and suddenly, the perp has the cuffs on him or he's been ejected from the property before he even realizes what hit him...and that's exactly what you want.

    Now...compare this with an officer whose attitudes and expressions basically convey signals like "Who the hell are you, Buster?" or "Put up your dukes, Bub!" right from the git-go. Which officer is going to be more successful...and which one would YOU hire?
    You know, you should consider doing this daily. We can call it, "SecTrainer's Thought of the Day!". You always give, atleast for me anyway, something to think about, that i've either forgotten (suffer from CRS), or have yet to think of.
    "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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    • #3
      Bravo!

      Outstanding Sec. I agree 100 % with everything you stated. Spot on my friend!

      Be safe,

      Hank
      " We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on one hand and of overwhelming force on the other" - General George C. Marshall

      Comment


      • #4
        A 'matter of fact' or professional approach is common to many occupations, I would have to agree that it is certainly a more positive/beneficial method of interacting with the public in general

        Additionally a friendly and pleasant demeanour can help defuse potential aggression from a frustrated/confused/intoxicated individual
        "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give" - Winston Churchill

        Comment


        • #5
          So true!!!

          Intimidation reduces comfort. It's when people are too comfortable or too cocky that they slip and spill the beans. As far as establishing raport with people, if they see you as "open and aproachable" they will be more willing to just speak to you, and over time that can really help both you and them, in solving problems or they may have or information you are looking for and more willing to share it.



          Great entry SecTrainer.
          Last edited by JB diligence; 09-28-2007, 04:39 AM.
          I'm the guy you don't want to be around when your doing something wrong, but you can't wait for me to get there when your down, to fix you up...

          If you don't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.

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