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For most of us, "what you see is what you get". In other words, our presentation to people matches our feelings and our thoughts about them, and about our pre-conceptions regarding the situation. We telegraph everything that's in our minds by our facial expressions, the words we use and our demeanor.
So...we think someone is up to no good and we present ourselves to them in a confrontative way. We think someone is suspicious, we make contact with them and present ourselves as being suspicious of them.
There are several advantages to YOU in not wearing your thoughts and suspicions on your sleeve when dealing with people....in other words, "disconnecting" your presentation and demeanor from your innermost suspicions and thoughts.
First (and this is no small deal)...you don't have egg all over your face if you're wrong, and the person you're dealing with turns out to have a perfectly legitimate reason for being <wherever> or doing <whatever>.
Second...you are keeping your options open. By playing your cards last instead of "up front", you have the opportunity to gather a little bit more information before the other individual even realizes what's going on. All he knows is that a security officer has made a very "neutral" contact with him.
Third...you maintain the initiative. It is ONLY when you telegraph "where you're going" by your approach that the other guy can start to think how he might get ahead of you.
Fourth...the hesitation this neutral approach lays on the other guy might give you the few seconds you need to realize that this is indeed going to be worse than you thought, and summon aid or take cover.
If I could sum up the lesson in a few words, it would be this: Even when you have a fairly high index of suspicion, be mysterious when making contact with people, and keep them guessing!! Don't come out of the gate challenging people (unless the situation is REALLY that obvious). Telegraph nothing by your facial expressions, your words or your demeanor. Never let the other guy know exactly why you've made contact with him or what your next move is going to be...until the right moment comes to spring the trap.
Start with a pleasant, detached contact. Don't be afraid to appear somewhat naive or even "stupid" while the other guy tells you his story. "Uh-huh...yeah...I see. No kidding. Well, the problem is..." and suddenly, the perp has the cuffs on him or he's been ejected from the property before he even realizes what hit him...and that's exactly what you want.
Now...compare this with an officer whose attitudes and expressions basically convey signals like "Who the hell are you, Buster?" or "Put up your dukes, Bub!" right from the git-go. Which officer is going to be more successful...and which one would YOU hire?
So...we think someone is up to no good and we present ourselves to them in a confrontative way. We think someone is suspicious, we make contact with them and present ourselves as being suspicious of them.
There are several advantages to YOU in not wearing your thoughts and suspicions on your sleeve when dealing with people....in other words, "disconnecting" your presentation and demeanor from your innermost suspicions and thoughts.
First (and this is no small deal)...you don't have egg all over your face if you're wrong, and the person you're dealing with turns out to have a perfectly legitimate reason for being <wherever> or doing <whatever>.
Second...you are keeping your options open. By playing your cards last instead of "up front", you have the opportunity to gather a little bit more information before the other individual even realizes what's going on. All he knows is that a security officer has made a very "neutral" contact with him.
Third...you maintain the initiative. It is ONLY when you telegraph "where you're going" by your approach that the other guy can start to think how he might get ahead of you.
Fourth...the hesitation this neutral approach lays on the other guy might give you the few seconds you need to realize that this is indeed going to be worse than you thought, and summon aid or take cover.
If I could sum up the lesson in a few words, it would be this: Even when you have a fairly high index of suspicion, be mysterious when making contact with people, and keep them guessing!! Don't come out of the gate challenging people (unless the situation is REALLY that obvious). Telegraph nothing by your facial expressions, your words or your demeanor. Never let the other guy know exactly why you've made contact with him or what your next move is going to be...until the right moment comes to spring the trap.
Start with a pleasant, detached contact. Don't be afraid to appear somewhat naive or even "stupid" while the other guy tells you his story. "Uh-huh...yeah...I see. No kidding. Well, the problem is..." and suddenly, the perp has the cuffs on him or he's been ejected from the property before he even realizes what hit him...and that's exactly what you want.
Now...compare this with an officer whose attitudes and expressions basically convey signals like "Who the hell are you, Buster?" or "Put up your dukes, Bub!" right from the git-go. Which officer is going to be more successful...and which one would YOU hire?
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