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  • Post stories about the most ridiculous security co-workers

    mall ninjas, mental cases, the stinky guy.... i want to hear about them.
    Police Officer

    Experience: Bouncer, EMT, Theme Park Security, Money Transport, Armed Guard

  • #2
    Originally posted by dannyr619 View Post
    mall ninjas, mental cases, the stinky guy.... i want to hear about them.
    THIS WILL BE A LONG ONE (in 3 parts) I call it:

    The CIGAR Saga

    The worst I ever dealt with was in 98 when I worked part time for a Security company and part time as a campus cop. I was 23. I got the full time job with the campus police after 3 months with this company I RAN as fast as I could lol.

    I'll call this guy "Cigar" because of the unlit cigar he always chewed on....despite the fact that he didn't smoke. He was from St. Louis and I found out that he'd been in the police academy there at some point but didn't make it through.

    He had an old 90 crown vic he bought at an auction, you could see the outlines of the removed police decals still on the car. The spotlight remained, but the light bar was gone. The headlights would still alternate. The police radio was gone, but this guy bolted down a police scanner in it's place and hooked up a fake mic to make it look like a radio. The cage had been removed atleast.

    I met him when he drove on to the property to speak to the other supervisor who was relieving me at the time, they knew each other. Over the course of the next hour (our shifts there overlapped), "Cigar" told us atleast 7 different tales of gun fighting, rescues, love making and miricles that would make Jason Bourne, James Bond and Moses put together look weak. Total BS and i disliked him instantly, but hey, atleast I didn't have to work with him....

    ....OF COURSE my company hired him 2 days later and he was assigned to my shift....

    PART 1 (Rotor Blades of Glory)
    We were told that we could patrol in our own vehicles, and it was summer in Texas. Against my better judgement I ended up riding with him in his crown vic listening to even more made up war stories. We got a radio call from the other 2 man team on property (asking me if it were ok for them to go to lunch). I noticed that my "partner's" radio wasn't working, so i told him to drive to the management office where we kept the radios so we could switch them out.

    We get to the office and I tell him to stay put while I go and get another radio. As i'm getting out of the car I notice the guy turing his police scanner on. While in the management office I hear someone talking loudly, it seems a tenant is displeased with management. I decide to stand by just in case, and I go to the window to flag my partner in incase it got ugly (since he doesn't have a radio), but he's gone. I figured (hoped) he'd just moved the car out from in front of the office to make room for someone to pass or something.

    3 minutes later the argument is over and the tenant leaves. After brielfy speaking with the client I walk outside, but "Cigar" is nowhere to be seen, and he's not on the side of the building like I though he might have been. I hoped he was just "making the block" but 2 minutes passed and No "cigar".

    It's then that I hear rotor blades, look up and see the Dallas police Department Helicopter circling, remember the guy tunring on his police scanner and things snap into place. A feeling of deep dread fills me as nightmare scenarios swim in my head.

    The adjacent property (different management compnay) had a contract with us too, and it was directly between phase 1 (where I was at) and phase 2(closer to the roadway) of my apt complex. So I walk over to the middle apt complex and ask the officer on duty (who I was nominally in charge of in addition to the S/Os on my property) if he'd seen Cigar....

    He told me he'd seen him 5 minutes prior, speeding through the middle property on his way to phase 2 of our own contract, with his headlights flickering. I wanted to scream. Me and the middle property S/O got in his personal vehicle and went looking for "Cigar" (I sholdn't have pulled the guy off property except in a real emergency, but to be honest I was mad as a hornet and not thinking straight).

    We found Cigar at the edge of the property facing the street, Car halfway in the road, standing there in his BDUs and black shirt complete with Badge hanging on chain around his neck (waiting for someone to choke the mess out of him, that badge on a chain thing is so Miami Vice), holding his gleaming chrome, pistol grip shot gun that had to cost him atleast 2 weeks pay, waiting for a police chase to come his way.

    I say honestly, I lit into this guy like a tornado on a trailer park. Not proud of it, but I cussed him completly out. He left me alone, potentially facing a hostile contact in the office while he went to play street cop at a chase that terminated a mile short of our complex and had nothing to do with us anyway.

    At this point dislike came dangerously close to becoming hatred....

    And that wasn't the worst of it. Stay tuned for the rest of the CIGAR saga, Part 2 (DOOR BUSTERS!) and the finale, part 3 (STOPPING my Heart).
    Last edited by Black Caesar; 08-22-2007, 06:30 AM.
    ~Black Caesar~
    Corbier's Commandos

    " "The trouble with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." ~Margaret Thatcher

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    • #3
      PART 2: DOOR BUSTERS!

      After the 1st incident Cigar was "counseled" but the area manager about the importance of staying with his partner (we were in "Pleasant Grove", basically South East Dallas, not the niced place on earth despite it's name....) and about the importance on staying on Task doing our job, not DPDs.

      To his (one and only) credit, he apologised to me. I still didn't like him, but it was water under the bridge.

      A few days later, I was with him again. Because no one wanted to work with him, the area manager decree'd "rotating partners" so no one got stuck with him all the time.

      We got called to the management office. The new manager is REAL new, as is the company, and the last company (which folded) had bad record keeping practices. Frankly, they didn't know who'd paid their rent this month and only had a partial list of occupied units. Squatting was a problem but without a complete list we dind't knw whcih units were supposed to occupied. The manger wanted 2 apts on opposite sides of the complex "examined" and wanted it done right now!

      While my orders were to patrol in 2 man teams, honestly I usually tried to keep the 4 of us within arms reach. It reduced coverage but it increased officer safety and that was my main concern. Atleast 1 of the unoccupied units at the complex as a dope house, and probably more. But the urgency of her "request" meant I had to divide my shift into 2 teams to do it all at once, so i sent the other team to phase 2 and took my guy (Cigar) to the phase 1 apt in question.

      Well, it's down by the creek. We get there and try the doorbell, then after a while, the knob, but it's locked from the inside, we look in windows but they have curtains and blinds. Frankly we have no way to tell if it's occupied or not. We were sent to ask anyone inside if they had proof od tenancy and see if they had a reciept for last months rent. Really confused situation, but after I couldn't see inside I decided to report back to the client, so I walk from the side of the buidling to the front to collect my partner.......


      ........And find him crouched in the bushes in front of the apt door with his glock in his hand, waiting for me. Seeing my partner with his gun drawn trigger my training, I draw my own, crouch and move across from him, a the wooden archway between me and the apt door (all he had between him and the door was a trimmed bush, great cover that was). I ask him whats the deal, and he replys "are we ready to kick the door and make entry?".

      Kick the door and make entry? WTF. I ask him why? He says that we were sent to find out if anyone lives here. WTF again.

      I holstered and stood up, and told him to do the same, which he was slow in doing. I explained to him that we woulnd't be kicking any doors because the we don't know if someone is inside or not, the managment doesn't know who should be there or if they even paid their rent, and on the chance that the DID pay their rent and we kicked their door in, we'd be committing atleast destruction of property, at worst burglary of a habitation.

      To which he replies "you have a police badge in your pocket right?". I say yea, and since I'm in this security uniform working for a private business and not on my college campus, in my back pocket is where it stays. Even so I don't go commiting felonies in any case.

      He was TICKED at me, and we walked back to the management office in silence just in time for the manager to tell us that she found the record of the apt we were sent to, that it was occupied and the rent had been paid on the 2nd of the month......

      This incident indirectly led to the 3rd incident, which I'll post in a bit.....
      Last edited by Black Caesar; 08-22-2007, 07:03 AM.
      ~Black Caesar~
      Corbier's Commandos

      " "The trouble with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." ~Margaret Thatcher

      Comment


      • #4
        This incident indirectly led to the 3rd incident, which I'll post in a bit.....
        Damn you, BC...

        This is like waiting for the next "Star Wars" movie to come out...

        “Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left”
        "I swear to God, I'm going to pistol whip the next guy that says 'Shenanigans' "... Capt. O'Hagan, "Super Troopers"

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        • #5
          Having kicked doors in (at a hotel, to defeat the chain lock and gain entry because the guest had locked themselves out of the unit at 3 AM and the front desk said "Um, kick it in or something"), super trooper there would of found out that... Kicking in a door hurts.
          Some Kind of Commando Leader

          "Every time I see another crazy Florida post, I'm glad I don't work there." ~ Minneapolis Security on Florida Security Law

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          • #6
            AAAGGGHHHH!!!! WhathappenedWhathappenedWhathappened?????? lmao
            I do security for work; I run into burning buildings for fun

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            • #7
              too many so I just block them out of my mind because it angers me to think about some of the stupid crap co-workers do. Mostly these incidents stem from people without the proper training doing things they absolutely shouldn't be doing.

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              • #8
                PART 3: Stopping my Heart

                This is the same day as the incident with him wanting to kick the door, and it's here that I made my 1st "worst" mistake as a security supervisor.

                Simply, I was fed up with the guy, I'd had all I could take. I called my Area Manager (who BTW was also a part time Campus Cop, he'd left the Texas Attorney General's Office of Investigation to start his own company which didn't last long, which is how he ended up working for "the Colonel"). I pleaded with my manager to take this guy off my contract and give me someone else. Of course there was no one else to be had, and I knew it.

                Like I said, we had a weird overlapping shift on that contract, and the "2nd Team" of S/Os I had went off duty 2 hours before my "1st Team" (me and Cigar) did. Well, a guy on from the oncoming shift called in sick, so instead of 2 S/Os coming on, only 1 did.

                What I should have done was just keep the 3 of us together since the incoming guys partner wasn't coming. I knew it then, I know it now, and I didn't care. I hopped in the incoming guy's and ordered Cigar to "just stay in your car and patrol, don't get out without calling for us to back you up 1st". I just wanted away from this nimrod.

                Well, for an hour, everything was ok, my new partner and I even passed Cigar twice on patrol and everything seemed fine.

                Well, I'm in the passenger seat and we're driving slowly near the middle of phase 1 when I see this lady come out of her apartment with a trashbag headed for the dumpster. This woman (who i'd met the 1st day on the contract, she was a member of the resident's council) was 25, half cuban, half brazillian and ALL beautiful....and prone to wear as little as possible.

                My 23 year old self and my 20 year old partner were mesmerized, but he was driving so had to keep his eyes on the road, I wasn't, so as we passed her (she waved and called my name...[fantasy] yea, she wanted me, I just know it [/fantasy]....) my head turned like a tank turret.

                It was still turned when my partner took a right turn at the end of the apartment block. It was still turned when he aburptly stopped the car damn near throwing me out of my seat. On instinct I started to whip my head around to see what stopped him, but as I was turning I saw the look of horror on his face and something made me NOT look out of the car's windshield, I just stared at him. Somehow I knew, this was gonna be bad.

                I asked him "do I want to look at what you are looking at?" He said "No dude, you really don't". Then I just said "Cigar?". He said "Yup".

                I made myself look then, and time (and my friggin HEART) seemed to stop. There on the side of the street, just outside the gate, by the entrance to phase one of my apt complex, was a beat up old 1990 Crown Vic (you could still see the outlines of the old police decals it once had) with it's headlights flashing and a "Starsky and Hutch" style blue light (which I hadn't noticed before) on the dash, with it's driver's side door flung open, pulled up behind a gold Trans Am.

                Inside the Trans Am was a scared looking Hispanic male. He was looking up at the BDU clad figure (complete with badge handing from chain around his neck and unlit cigar in his moouth) standing next to his car holding a metal clipboard who was writing down information from a drivers license, .....

                It took me a while to process the fact that "Cigar" had done a traffic stop on a public street.

                Next thing I knew I was out fo the car and out the gate. I damn near screamed "What are you doing". Cigar tells me that this guy had come on property, then turned around a few seconds later and "departed in a suspicious manner.

                WTF?

                I snatched to license off of the clip board and handed it back to the man (turns out he was a construction worker, he'd simply made a wrong turn, he was looking for the apt complex a block to the south of ours) and apologised profusely. In broken english he asked who we worked for, and I told him we were security for the apt complex here, and he asked where the office was, so I pointed it out to him. He made a beeline straight to the apt manager.

                Still standing on the side of the Road, Cigar then proceeds to tell me "Security officers can make traffic stops on private property, I would have stopped him in the gate but I couldn't get turned around fast enough".

                I can't remember all I said to him next, but I recall the words "Civil rights" ,"impersonationg", "illegal stop", "flaming idiot" and other things. You can do "investigative stops" on private property to ascertain if the person belongs there, BUT IF THEY ARE LEAVING or trying to leave, then that goes right out the door.

                I was mad, mad as hell, and as I got back in my partner's car (after ordering Cigar to meet us at the management office) my blood boiled. But I still knew it was my fault. I KNEW this guy needed constant direct supervision, and I was that supervisor.

                The guy who got stopped dropped the issue after I and the manager and Cigar (under duress) apologized to him several times, which was a good thing because this guy could of had one whopper of a lawsuit, hell, he'd of had a great criminal complaint too. I still thank God it ened there.

                FINALLY the Area manager pulled him off site......only to post him somehwere else later that same week after more 'counseling'. Like i said, i ran HARD from that company when I got the full time college job.
                ```````

                Funny end note: 6 years later I'm on foot patrol at my college when I get a suspecious person call. Some guy who smells like Tar is at the student center courtesy phones. I get there and announce myself to the guy and he turns around. Took me a moment to recognize him, but lo and behold, it was Cigar. He was a part of the construction crew working on a street outside my campus. He greeted me enthusiastically and (out of curisoity) I talked to him for about 5 minutes. Eventually I asked if he was still working security, and he says no.

                He left and I haven't seen him since, but curisoity made me call my old Area manager (who is now a Sergeant with the Dallas Public Schools Police). He told me that Cigar left the company right after I did to go back to work for his old company, where he got in trouble for "pulling people over when he shouldn't have" and the State Security Board ripped his S/O license and banned him......

                Sometimes there is Justice in the world.....

                Forgive the typos, it's been a long day..
                Last edited by Black Caesar; 08-23-2007, 07:22 AM.
                ~Black Caesar~
                Corbier's Commandos

                " "The trouble with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." ~Margaret Thatcher

                Comment


                • #9
                  One word...........























                  WOW.
                  I do security for work; I run into burning buildings for fun

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                  • #10
                    That's nuts!
                    I'm the guy you don't want to be around when your doing something wrong, but you can't wait for me to get there when your down, to fix you up...

                    If you don't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.

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                    • #11
                      There is many stories about my colleagues but the funniest story was with a patient at the hospital!!
                      He was an old Irishman (Yes true) and I observed him at the lifts acting strange. Hmm after a while he was still at the lift and he kept on pressing the lift level indicator/lights.
                      It finally got the better of me and I went out and asked him if he was ok.
                      On questioning him he replied in true and strong irish accent " I keep pressing the lights but this damn lift wont come here to take me to the 4th floor!!"

                      Being a true and composed Professional security officer I showed the poor guy that he needed to press the other buttons that an arrow pointing up and the other button with the down arrow. Eventually the lift arrived and he gave me many thanks etc and he was on his way.
                      Thank goodness that the office was close by because my toungue was bleeding from holding back the laughter!!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Black Caesar View Post
                        [b]Funny end note: 6 years later I'm on foot patrol at my college when I get a suspecious person call. Some guy who smells like Tar is at the student center courtesy phones. I get there and announce myself to the guy and he turns around. Took me a moment to recognize him, but lo and behold, it was Cigar. He was a part of the construction crew working on a street outside my campus. He greeted me enthusiastically and (out of curisoity) I talked to him for about 5 minutes. Eventually I asked if he was still working security, and he says no.

                        He left and I haven't seen him since, but curisoity made me call my old Area manager (who is now a Sergeant with the Dallas Public Schools Police). He told me that Cigar left the company right after I did to go back to work for his old company, where he got in trouble for "pulling people over when he shouldn't have" and the State Security Board ripped his S/O license and banned him......
                        For some reason I expected this to be a transient call, and he playing the part of said transient.... oops, that's not very PC of me is it? How about Urban Outdoorsman??
                        ~Super Ninja Sniper~
                        Corbier's Commandos

                        Nemo me impune lacessit

                        Grammical and Spelling errors may occur form time to time. Yoov bin worned

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                        • #13
                          Nice BC! I had one story, but I can not compete with that! Sooooo.....I got nothin'

                          Be safe,

                          Hank
                          " We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on one hand and of overwhelming force on the other" - General George C. Marshall

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by dannyr619 View Post
                            mall ninjas, mental cases, the stinky guy.... i want to hear about them.

                            Kind of funny. I actually had all three rolled into one. I had a guy who swore he had ninja skills, although refused to show anything. He also was a complete retard, and didn't know what the hell he was talking about most of the time. To top it off, he smelled like crap and cigarettes! I always hated having to drive our mobile units after he had been in them. Finally, when we had a new company take over our post, they let him go, for "not scoring high enough on his employment test." I kind of felt bad for the guy in the end though. He was living in a hotel, had lost all of his money, and then his job. So, I wrote him a reference and got him hired with our competitor. It was a good way to show up the competition!

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                            • #15
                              I'm sure this forum could fill volumes of stories in this subject, if it were not violating company information policies. Many are human tragedies taken advantage of for short term greed. The short term greed 'could' end up costing the Security Company money and business (hopefully), but usually it just ends up screwing the accompanying SO's who suck up their inneficiencies.

                              The fellow SO's absorbing most of the pain of working with these individuals work for the exact same wages. And the human tradgedies ALSO get routine schedules for their warm body contributions.

                              Having a totally unqualified person, or an illegal immigrant who can not speak a lick of English is ridiculous. If they can not even call in an hourly report on the radio in understandable English, then what if they were ever needed to call anything in an emergency? They just studder while, hopefully, the competent SO will handle the situation as the warm body revenue generator is stammering on the radio. This is of course is if they are not sleeping.
                              Last edited by ddog; 10-22-2007, 06:52 PM.

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