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  • Ready for some humor?

    So there I am. 0615 in the A.M. 12 miles from the nearest hardtop road patroling a fenced in site. Finish the round and park the new Ranger patrol truck. Walk over to the shack to enjoy some AC and coffee. Walk past the electric power transformer and notice I have company. You see, I'm in the middle of nowhere at a remote test site. The electric power comes in on poles to these transformers sitting on a concrete pad, then power lines go underground to where ever. Little birds like to nest in the various parts of this transformer. And snakes like to eat little birds. And here we have a snake climbing the transformer structure to visit the little birdies nest. And the snake "always" crosses the wires getting to the nests which shorts out the transformers. O.K. Got the picture? I've seen this same show several times over the years.

    SO. I call XXX and state I need the power crew out here ASAP due to power failure. I wait 20 minutes, while watching the snake doing what snakes do when sneaking up on a birds nest. Aw-ha. Right on schedule, here come the blue lights. Slides up to the gate that I won't open for him. Officer jumps out and asked if site is secure.

    "Yep. Coffee will be ready in a minute unless you'd like a cold iced tea, Officer."

    "You have power? You sent in a power outage call. Thats an emergency response call. You think thats funny? Like I have nothing better to do than run out here to talk to you? (this went on untill I rudely yawned). Well? You have anything to say?"

    "Yep. Five, four, three, two....."ZZzzzzzaaaapppp! Bang! Pow! Smoke. "Anything else, Offcier?"

    Officer walks over to patrol vehicle, "Desk. Power outage is confirmed. Site secure."

    Just then the big white truck with the big white trailer and crew come into sight. Truck pulls up to the gate and everybody drags out ID. Old Earl looks over at me and says, "Did it again. Didn't ya?" To which I respond, "Yep."
    Earl turns to Officer and says, "You'll get used to this once you've been here a while. It's just an old guy thing."

    Officer says, "Still ain't funny."

    After a boring all niter, not a bad Monday morning for an old retired SO.
    Last edited by mh892; 06-26-2007, 11:53 PM.

  • #2
    "Gun control, the theory that 110lb. women have the "right" to fistfight with 210lb. rapists. " Author Unknown

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    • #3
      Snakes will be snakes

      Yup! Snakes will be snakes - whatever form they may take.
      Retail Security Consultant / Expert Witness
      Co-Author - Effective Security Management 6th Edition

      Contributor to Retail Crime, Security and Loss Prevention: An Encyclopedic Reference

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      • #4
        im assuming the blue lights are local pd, or department of natural resources? wildlife....
        Its not how we die that counts.....
        Its not how we lived that counts....
        all that matters is how we saved that one life that one time by being in the right place at the right time....

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        • #5
          I enjoyed that story.
          Enjoy the day,
          Bill

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          • #6
            Originally posted by UtahProtectionForce View Post
            im assuming the blue lights are local pd, or department of natural resources? wildlife....
            Probably DOD Police or possibly AF Security Police, if he is where I think he is.

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            • #7
              I have a feeling they're not Security Forces, because it'd be an enlisted rate driving out there to yell at him. And he'd probably take offense at being called an "Officer."

              I say this with a certain certainty because an NCO would probably know what's up.
              Some Kind of Commando Leader

              "Every time I see another crazy Florida post, I'm glad I don't work there." ~ Minneapolis Security on Florida Security Law

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              • #8
                Originally posted by N. A. Corbier View Post
                I have a feeling they're not Security Forces, because it'd be an enlisted rate driving out there to yell at him. And he'd probably take offense at being called an "Officer."

                I say this with a certain certainty because an NCO would probably know what's up.
                Why would a Security Forces take offense at being called Officer? It would feel strange to say, "Hello, Forces." And why only enlisted rate? There are Civil Service also. GS-5 to GS-12-083 and -085.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by GCMC Security View Post
                  Probably DOD Police or possibly AF Security Police, if he is where I think he is.
                  Yep! Not far from Hwy. 87. Come on out for coffee. Well, maybe not. LOL.

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                  • #10
                    lol I drive 87 quite a bit in my travels....but after your snake story, come to the hospital for coffee! (after I get done driving to destin every night on a "temp" assignment!)

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by GCMC Security View Post
                      lol I drive 87 quite a bit in my travels....but after your snake story, come to the hospital for coffee! (after I get done driving to destin every night on a "temp" assignment!)
                      Geeze. Thats some miles every night.

                      Now there is another 'topic', "How much travel pay/per diem does your company provide for assignments away from local area?"

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by mh892 View Post
                        Geeze. Thats some miles every night.

                        Now there is another 'topic', "How much travel pay/per diem does your company provide for assignments away from local area?"
                        4 hours travel pay each night, unless I take the company truck then nothing for this assignment. Most of the time they don't pay jack, but they wouldn't have anyone to do it otherwise.

                        The reason I'm doing it is because they couldn't find a CPO lead for this post, and after telling them not without travel pay for the last month, they came back with travel pay lol. It's not a bad site and if I lived closer I'd take it but the drive is getting to me.

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                        • #13
                          When I was a CPO, I wish TWC would have offered travel pay. When I became an LT and site supervisor, I was going to a site approx. 50 miles away from home every day on 12.50/hr. Regulars were making 11.50. What drove me nuts was when there was a pay raise and the regulars went to 12.00/hr and I stayed at 12.50... just wasnt really worth the extra work anymore.
                          "Alright guys listen up, ya'll have probably heard this before, Jackson vs. Securiplex corporation; I am a private security officer, I have no State or governmental authority. I stand as an ordinary citizen. I have no right to; detain, interrogate or otherwise interfere with your personal property-... basically all that means is I'm a cop."-Officer Ernie
                          "The Curve" 1998

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                          • #14
                            Nice story. Thanks for sharing that one.

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