Post your favorite come-backs

[sgtnewby]

(drunk patient) "You're a [email protected]*kin loser, wannabe flashlight cop."

"Oh, I didn't know wet diapers and restraints were the new fashion for ages 18 to 40."


(drunk patient) "Get me some damn water!"

(throw towel over forearm) "Would that be Disani or Aquafina?"


(drunk patient) (screaming) "I can't breath!" (over and over again)

"I'm not a doctor but, doesn't air need to flow freely through your windpipe to make that sound?"

[SecTrainer]

(These are all things we'd like to say, but don't, right?)

Squirrel: "You ain't a cop!"

Answer: "No, and that's real unfortunate...for you."

Answer: "No, but don't worry. They'll probably get here just about the time you start screaming for them. Maybe."

_________________________________

Squirrel: "What - you threatening me? Huh?"

Answer: "Not at all, sir. I was merely saying that if you wanna dance with me I'm gonna have to stamp your ticket."

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Squirrel: "You wouldn't talk so big without that gun!"

Answer: "...and your point is what, exactly?"

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Squirrel: "You think you're a big man with that gun, don't you?"

Answer: "Oh, I'm very embarassed, sir, I didn't know my fly was....oh, you mean THAT gun!"

[GCMC Security]

" Since when did they start letting chicks be rent-a-cops?"

"Since San Francisco started doing sex change operations. I'm really a man working on my 'transition'"

:-) Never seen a guy run so fast in his life.

Boy is IT going to be mad at me for spitting Grapico all over the keyboard!

[alamedaad]

Best Comeback

" Since when did they start letting chicks be rent-a-cops?"

"Since San Francisco started doing sex change operations. I'm really a man working on my 'transition'"

:-) Never seen a guy run so fast in his life.

[N. A. Corbier]

Idiot: "I can kick your ass if you didn't have that gun."
Me: "I'm sure you can, but I always have a gun on."

'Preciate that, sir, but...

[Taktiq]

Subject: "you don't need to be an a**hole because you have that badge!"
Me: "Sir, I'm always like this."

[SecTrainer]

I pay your salary!

1. Then you're just the guy I want to talk to. Can I have a raise? My kids already ate the cracker you bought 'em.

2. (Sigh) I suppose you'll be wanting your nickel back, then, sir?

3. Yes you do, sir, and I'm sure my goldfish would thank you from the bottom of his little heart...if he hadn't died of starvation.

[jeff194307]

You are a wannabe.

Nope, a used to be, then I retired and now I do this

[Echos13]

Lets see.

1. Your an a** you know that!?
2. Yes sir. I get paid pretty good to be an a**.

1. What do they pay you for this anyway?
2. Weather they pay me or I do it for free you still have to obey the rules.

1. I don't like the way your looking at me. I want to report you to your supervisor!
2. Please do. I get paid to watch you and everyone else here too. At least he will know I am doing my job.

Oh, yes. Forgot one.

1. (Can't see beyond the SG mentality - let alone the my sidearm) So what do you do when your shot at or something? Hit them with you silly flashlight?

2. (Patting side) - Yes sir. Have a six cell right here. When it turns on I got six batteries to light up their life with.

[Arff312]

A few weeks ago i was working the parks. My partner and I were searching a group of transients. I was about to search the last male. As usual I told him to interlock his fingers and face away from me. I asked if he had any wepons , drugs, kinfes, bombs, wmd's or anything thast would poke me , stick me or other types of weapons. He replied just my D**K. I replied back "Sir it has to be over Four inches to be considered a weapon in California". I had the whole group busting up and my partner could barely stand.

[Bill Warnock]

I've been called every name in the book, sometimes I just take it, but sometimes I like to shoot something back (while remaining professional of course)

"I've worked at this company for 20 years!!"
-Good then you know the rules, now go move your car

"What do you make? Five dollars an hour?"
-Wow I think I just got a raise

"Do you know who I am?"
-Yea, you're the guy that's not coming in

"I had your mother last night!"
-Oh really? I could have gotten you a discount...

"You can't arrest me! You're not a COP!"
-I'm just hooking you up with some silver VIP wrist bands

Many years ago, after having been called a particular name numerous times my response was once," Sir, I am sure you I think your mother is a very noble woman and can assure you I've never had a sexual relationship with your mother." My car captain told me not to ever say that again for fear of "getting both of us killed." From then on he used the retort.
Enjoy the day,
Bill

[BoyInBlue]

I've been called every name in the book, sometimes I just take it, but sometimes I like to shoot something back (while remaining professional of course)

"I've worked at this company for 20 years!!"
-Good then you know the rules, now go move your car

"What do you make? Five dollars an hour?"
-Wow I think I just got a raise

"Do you know who I am?"
-Yea, you're the guy that's not coming in

"I had your mother last night!"
-Oh really? I could have gotten you a discount...

"You can't arrest me! You're not a COP!"
-I'm just hooking you up with some silver VIP wrist bands