Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Post your favorite come-backs

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Post your favorite come-backs

    I've been called every name in the book, sometimes I just take it, but sometimes I like to shoot something back (while remaining professional of course)

    "I've worked at this company for 20 years!!"
    -Good then you know the rules, now go move your car

    "What do you make? Five dollars an hour?"
    -Wow I think I just got a raise

    "Do you know who I am?"
    -Yea, you're the guy that's not coming in

    "I had your mother last night!"
    -Oh really? I could have gotten you a discount...

    "You can't arrest me! You're not a COP!"
    -I'm just hooking you up with some silver VIP wrist bands
    Police Officer

    Experience: Bouncer, EMT, Theme Park Security, Money Transport, Armed Guard

  • #2
    Originally posted by dannyr619
    I've been called every name in the book, sometimes I just take it, but sometimes I like to shoot something back (while remaining professional of course)

    "I've worked at this company for 20 years!!"
    -Good then you know the rules, now go move your car

    "What do you make? Five dollars an hour?"
    -Wow I think I just got a raise

    "Do you know who I am?"
    -Yea, you're the guy that's not coming in

    "I had your mother last night!"
    -Oh really? I could have gotten you a discount...

    "You can't arrest me! You're not a COP!"
    -I'm just hooking you up with some silver VIP wrist bands
    Many years ago, after having been called a particular name numerous times my response was once," Sir, I am sure you I think your mother is a very noble woman and can assure you I've never had a sexual relationship with your mother." My car captain told me not to ever say that again for fear of "getting both of us killed." From then on he used the retort.
    Enjoy the day,
    Bill

    Comment


    • #3
      A few weeks ago i was working the parks. My partner and I were searching a group of transients. I was about to search the last male. As usual I told him to interlock his fingers and face away from me. I asked if he had any wepons , drugs, kinfes, bombs, wmd's or anything thast would poke me , stick me or other types of weapons. He replied just my D**K. I replied back "Sir it has to be over Four inches to be considered a weapon in California". I had the whole group busting up and my partner could barely stand.
      Robert
      Here endith the lesson

      Comment


      • #4
        Lets see.

        1. Your an a** you know that!?
        2. Yes sir. I get paid pretty good to be an a**.

        1. What do they pay you for this anyway?
        2. Weather they pay me or I do it for free you still have to obey the rules.

        1. I don't like the way your looking at me. I want to report you to your supervisor!
        2. Please do. I get paid to watch you and everyone else here too. At least he will know I am doing my job.

        Oh, yes. Forgot one.

        1. (Can't see beyond the SG mentality - let alone the my sidearm) So what do you do when your shot at or something? Hit them with you silly flashlight?

        2. (Patting side) - Yes sir. Have a six cell right here. When it turns on I got six batteries to light up their life with.
        Last edited by Echos13; 05-14-2007, 01:03 PM.
        My views, opinions and statements are my own. They are not of my company, affiliates or coworkers.

        -Being bagger at Publix has more respect these days

        -It's just a job kid deal with it

        -The industry needs to do one of two things; stop fiddling with the thin line and go forward or go back to that way it was. A flashlight in one hand and your set of keys in the other

        Comment


        • #5
          You are a wannabe.

          Nope, a used to be, then I retired and now I do this
          Murphy was an optomist.

          Comment


          • #6
            I pay your salary!

            1. Then you're just the guy I want to talk to. Can I have a raise? My kids already ate the cracker you bought 'em.

            2. (Sigh) I suppose you'll be wanting your nickel back, then, sir?

            3. Yes you do, sir, and I'm sure my goldfish would thank you from the bottom of his little heart...if he hadn't died of starvation.
            Last edited by SecTrainer; 05-13-2007, 03:16 PM.
            "Every betrayal begins with trust." - Brian Jacques

            "I can't predict the future, but I know that it'll be very weird." - Anonymous

            "There is nothing new under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 1:9

            "History, with all its volumes vast, hath but one page." - Lord Byron

            Comment


            • #7
              Subject: "you don't need to be an a**hole because you have that badge!"
              Me: "Sir, I'm always like this."
              ‎"If you can't tolerate humor directed at you, you do not deserve to be taken seriously"

              Comment


              • #8
                'Preciate that, sir, but...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Idiot: "I can kick your ass if you didn't have that gun."
                  Me: "I'm sure you can, but I always have a gun on."
                  Some Kind of Commando Leader

                  "Every time I see another crazy Florida post, I'm glad I don't work there." ~ Minneapolis Security on Florida Security Law

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Best Comeback

                    " Since when did they start letting chicks be rent-a-cops?"

                    "Since San Francisco started doing sex change operations. I'm really a man working on my 'transition'"

                    :-) Never seen a guy run so fast in his life.
                    The law is reason free from passion." -- Aristotle

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by alamedaad
                      " Since when did they start letting chicks be rent-a-cops?"

                      "Since San Francisco started doing sex change operations. I'm really a man working on my 'transition'"

                      :-) Never seen a guy run so fast in his life.
                      Boy is IT going to be mad at me for spitting Grapico all over the keyboard!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        (These are all things we'd like to say, but don't, right?)

                        Squirrel: "You ain't a cop!"

                        Answer: "No, and that's real unfortunate...for you."

                        Answer: "No, but don't worry. They'll probably get here just about the time you start screaming for them. Maybe."

                        _________________________________

                        Squirrel: "What - you threatening me? Huh?"

                        Answer: "Not at all, sir. I was merely saying that if you wanna dance with me I'm gonna have to stamp your ticket."

                        _________________________________


                        Squirrel: "You wouldn't talk so big without that gun!"

                        Answer: "...and your point is what, exactly?"

                        _________________________________

                        Squirrel: "You think you're a big man with that gun, don't you?"

                        Answer: "Oh, I'm very embarassed, sir, I didn't know my fly was....oh, you mean THAT gun!"
                        Last edited by SecTrainer; 05-15-2007, 09:52 AM.
                        "Every betrayal begins with trust." - Brian Jacques

                        "I can't predict the future, but I know that it'll be very weird." - Anonymous

                        "There is nothing new under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 1:9

                        "History, with all its volumes vast, hath but one page." - Lord Byron

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          (drunk patient) "You're a [email protected]*kin loser, wannabe flashlight cop."

                          "Oh, I didn't know wet diapers and restraints were the new fashion for ages 18 to 40."


                          (drunk patient) "Get me some damn water!"

                          (throw towel over forearm) "Would that be Disani or Aquafina?"


                          (drunk patient) (screaming) "I can't breath!" (over and over again)

                          "I'm not a doctor but, doesn't air need to flow freely through your windpipe to make that sound?"
                          Last edited by sgtnewby; 05-16-2007, 06:49 PM.
                          Apparently a HUGE cop wannabe...

                          Comment

                          Leaderboard

                          Collapse
                          Working...
                          X