Originally posted by SecTrainer
I was just imagining the conversation with the IRS auditor:
IRS: I see a deduction here for clippers. Did you clip three whiskers five times, or did you clip five whiskers three times? There's a difference in the deduction, you know. You take the square root of hairs clipped divided by the length of the hairs times the tenth power of the number of hairs clipped and multiply that times $0.000013...
Me: Yeah, yeah - whatever. I clipped three whiskers five times, and one nose hair. I also had this real long hair growing out of my ear...
IRS: Oh, I'm very sorry. There's nothing in your company policy regarding hairs within the nasal cavity, so that's not covered - just mustaches. By using the clippers for internal nose hairs, you've disqualified yourself from taking the deduction.
Me: Yeah, but....
IRS: ...And speaking of butts, I see you've claimed a deduction for toilet paper. Let's take a crack at that one next, no pun intended <insert dry auditor's chuckle here>.
IRS: I see a deduction here for clippers. Did you clip three whiskers five times, or did you clip five whiskers three times? There's a difference in the deduction, you know. You take the square root of hairs clipped divided by the length of the hairs times the tenth power of the number of hairs clipped and multiply that times $0.000013...
Me: Yeah, yeah - whatever. I clipped three whiskers five times, and one nose hair. I also had this real long hair growing out of my ear...
IRS: Oh, I'm very sorry. There's nothing in your company policy regarding hairs within the nasal cavity, so that's not covered - just mustaches. By using the clippers for internal nose hairs, you've disqualified yourself from taking the deduction.
Me: Yeah, but....
IRS: ...And speaking of butts, I see you've claimed a deduction for toilet paper. Let's take a crack at that one next, no pun intended <insert dry auditor's chuckle here>.

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