Funniest thing you've been called FOR

[Will]

This is an offshoot of another thread on here, because it's what I thought the thread was FOR. Oops

What's one of the funniest / oddest things you've been called up for? I can think of two right now. One of our warehouse managers called us up because he lost his lunch. As in...he left his McDonalds somewhere, and when he went to grab it, it was gone

Another one was just today. I got an e-mail from one of our people in New York. One of the local security guys had his personal play station stolen from the duty desk. My first question........why in the H3LL did he have a playstation at the duty desk?!?!

[1stWatch]

Apartment noise complaint calls - people call us not for loud music, but for people "walking too loud" on the floor upstairs. What would they ever expect us to do about that?

[Guest]

Been working at a Gated Private Resort Community for a month now. I thought it would be slow and laid back..but stuff happens... Last week a guest was acting up in the locker room of the golf club. He was sitting naked on the bench. He was rubbing his genitals against the bench and he was making happy sounds. He just sat there for minutes on end, doing this until I got there. He kept doing it when I told him to stop. So I took everything out of his open locker (his clothes, bag, and other stuff) and threw them outside in a puddle of rain. Then he left.

[Mr. Security]

To: The Mayor,

With all due respect, I find your graphic post regarding the locker room incident to be inappropriate for this type of forum. I respectfully request that you edit the graphic portion so that everyone understands what you mean w/o being so descriptive.

I appreciate your cooperation.

Thanks,

Mr. Security
Senior Member

[Tennsix]

To: The Mayor,

With all due respect, I find your graphic post regarding the locker room incident to be inappropriate for this type of forum. I respectfully request that you edit the graphic portion so that everyone understands what you mean w/o being so descriptive.

I appreciate your cooperation.

Thanks,

Mr. Security
Senior Member

While, I don?t always agree with The Mayor, I would hesitate to say his post is inappropriate. It is graphic but the explicit nature of the post is relevant. His story is no worse than some we hear on the news. If those are the facts, than his post was OK, in my opinion.

[Mr. Security]

While, I don?t always agree with The Mayor, I would hesitate to say his post is inappropriate. It is graphic but the explicit nature of the post is relevant. His story is no worse than some we hear on the news. If those are the facts, than his post was OK, in my opinion.

The thrust of his story can still be made simply by using the word self-abuse or masturbation. We all know what part of the body he is referring to w/o posting it and we also don't need to know how he did it. Frankly, there is nothing funny about it. That's why LE can arrest individuals for such indecency.

[Bill Warnock]

Mr. Mayor:
Your instant post has crossed the bounds of propriety. Essential elements of a story is one thing, titillation for its own sake is another and must be avoided. Ask yourself this question, ?Were I on the witness stand would I so testify using that same terminology?? Please consider all members of this site as courtroom witnesses.
Enjoy the day,
Bill

[Mr. Security]

Mr. Mayor:
Your instant post has crossed the bounds of propriety. Essential elements of a story is one thing, titillation for its own sake is another and must be avoided. Ask yourself this question, ?Were I on the witness stand would I so testify using that same terminology?? Please consider all members of this site as courtroom witnesses.
Enjoy the day,
Bill

Well put. Thanks.

[Guest]

Mr. Mayor:
?Were I on the witness stand would I so testify using that same terminology?? Please consider all members of this site as courtroom witnesses.

Yes, If I was on the witness stand testifying I would use the terminolgy "Genitals" instead of "Penis" or "D***". If you thought the above was disturbing, you would have vomited if you read my Incident Report.

I documented the situation quite thoroughly. This saves my company from lawsuits...just imagine if this man went to trial for indecent exposure.....

Defense Attorney: "What did you see my client do?"

Mayor: "I saw him masturbating in plain view"

Defense Attorney: "So, you saw him touching himself with his hands..Yes?"

Mayor : "No, I saw him sitting on a bench, moving back and forth.

Defense Attorney "So my clients was not touching himself. You saw my client sitting on a bench and you ejected him from the premises just for sitting on the bench"


Do you see the ambiguity? Better to write everything as detailed and graphic as possible. CYA.

[Mr. Security]

Since this is not a trial, but a forum, and a clean one at that so far, we don't need all the details. In addition, this thread is entitled: "Funniest thing you've been called FOR." I see no humor in this unclean, and sometimes, criminal act.

Again, can you PLEASE edit your original post?

[Tennsix]

The thrust of his story can still be made simply by using the word self-abuse or masturbation. We all know what part of the body he is referring to w/o posting it and we also don't need to know how he did it. Frankly, there is nothing funny about it. That's why LE can arrest individuals for such indecency.

I have made many such arrests. With some, I did get a chuckle but not because it was funny but because people never cease to amaze me. I didn?t consider Mayor?s vernacular as insensitive or reprehensive. I will agree that the incident was not comical, however.

In short, I don?t share your criticism but you presented your opinion well and I respect that.

[Mr. Security]

I have made many such arrests. With some, I did get a chuckle but not because it was funny but because people never cease to amaze me. I didn?t consider Mayor?s vernacular as insensitive or reprehensive. I will agree that the incident was not comical, however.

In short, I don?t share your criticism but you presented your opinion well and I respect that.

Understood and appreciated. Instead of the word "amaze," I prefer disgust. We will have to agree to disagree on this one.

[1stWatch]

Goodness, I've caught people doing a lot dirtier things than that. Guess I'm what you call hardened to it

[N. A. Corbier]

I'm afraid after the 4th or so arrest or detention or whatever you wish to call it for lewd and lacivious behavior, including one guy pointing his johnson at me while threatening to urinate on me... You get used to it.

Also, I defended myself from his threat of battery by spraying him in the jimmy with Sabre OC/CS. He needed an ambulance, it was worse than in the face.

[Taser]

I'm afraid after the 4th or so arrest or detention or whatever you wish to call it for lewd and lacivious behavior, including one guy pointing his johnson at me while threatening to urinate on me... You get used to it.

Also, I defended myself from his threat of battery by spraying him in the jimmy with Sabre OC/CS. He needed an ambulance, it was worse than in the face.

Hahahaha, lovely! What did EMS say when they got there?