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Twinkie

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  • Twinkie

    Twinkie was a coworker at my second to last gig.

    Nobody was really sure how old she was, possibly late 20s early 30s. She lived with her parents in a small town about 50 miles from the city (Can't fault her for that) and she was WAAAAAAAY on the spectrum.

    The site we worked at was a FedEx warehouse. I was there for 3 years at the end of the first year FedEx moved to their new facility on the East edge of town and our site became a dumping ground for Flex officers who needed hours or had been removed from other sites. I stayed there because the project manager didn't like me and I was completely okay with working by myself nights and not having to f*** around with client employees our client customers.

    When Twinkie first started working the site we had a supervisor, Twinkie relieved her. She would show up at exactly 58 minutes after the hour everyday. She would ignore any attempts by the supervisor to brief her or give her any Pass Downs but Twinkie DEMANDED that I show up 7 minutes before the start of my shift even though she never briefed me. She would just pull up next to my car in the parking lot, hand me the phone out her window and drive away.

    On Saturday mornings when Twinkie relieved me she would arrive on site around 3 minutes till and walk right past my car and into the office and make me BRING her the phone. One morning she showed up at about 5 till and I walked into the office and I went to hand her the phone and she told me I couldn't leave till 6:59. I put the phone on the table in the break room told her to kiss my ass and walked out. After that I sent my report and clocked out at 7 minutes till the end of my shift, the earliest time I was allowed to clock out, left the phone on the desk and drove away as soon as she showed up. She began annotating in her DAR that I had REFUSED to give her a briefing.

    Twinkie was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. The concept of turnabout is fair play in never occurred to her. The next night I relieved her she tried to hand me the phone at my car and drive away, I told her she can hand me the phone in the office or not at all. She drew back like she was going to throw it at me and I told that if she did that phone would lay in the parking lot all night and I'd tell the Program Manager she never gave it to me and I had no idea what happened to it.

    Like I said Twinkie wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, our supervisor used to feed squirrels on her shift (she wasn't too bright either). She tamed them to the point that they would sit in the car with her. So one afternoon Twinkie tried to hand feed a squirrel and got BIT. AND SHE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO REPORT IT TO THE OFFICE.. Now, I understand reporting a legitimate work related injury and expecting to have Worker's Comp handle the claim but when it's your own stupidity and you got hurt doing something you WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE?

    Not Twinkie's brightest moment.
    Last edited by The Night Rider; 05-09-2022, 01:00 PM.

  • #2
    Why are most of your posts just bitching about coworkers? This isn't Twitter.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
      Why are most of your posts just bitching about coworkers? This isn't Twitter.
      Gives you something to read when you should be working.

      It's not like there's a plethora of content here anyway.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by The Night Rider View Post


        It's not like there's a plethora of content here anyway.
        Couldn't have put it better myself

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        • #5
          More Tales From The Twinkie Vault

          So I arrived at work one night and the person I relieved tells me there's a pass on that we all need to read and sign.

          Apparently some client management from the corporate offices decided to come inspect the warehouse (which they were trying to sell) and found the day shift guard (Twinkie) wearing ​​​a Track Suit They were less than completely pleased and they didn't call our branch manager they called HIS boss. As you can imagine that went over like a turd in a punch bowl.

          The boss issued a site directive that he never should have had to issue, instructing us to be in our full uniform for the entirety of our shift Ya Think?

          The next morning when Twinkie showed up she was wearing a purple track suit. I wasn't her supervisor, it was none of my business that she was out of uniform but it was my responsibility inform her of the pass on.

          She lost her cookies and started SCREAMING at me that she didn't wear sweats at work. I was like "Bro, you're wearing sweats right now." I honestly believe she was going to bite me and not in a good way.

          Anyway I reiterated that she could come to work naked for all I cared (there is not enough eye bleach in the universe) I was just making her aware of the pass on.

          I then cautioned her against feeding the squirrels and left.
          Last edited by The Night Rider; Today, 08:06 PM.

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