Stupid Coworker Tricks

[The Night Rider]

I was working for AUS on a FedEx site. FedEx had moved to a new location and we were guarding an empty warehouse.

A week after FedEx left I started working out of the FedEx dispatch office instead of sitting in the company vehicle.

One of my coworkers, who I will call Stupid Jean Baptiste decided to continue to sit in the company vehicle so he could use the AC, which he would run FULL BLAST with the window down and the sunroof open.

The last night of my week I leave the site and on my day and a half off it POURED

So I come back to work and relieve Stupid Jean Baptiste. After he leaves I do my beginning of shift paperwork and check the company vehicle. I found the vehicle with all the windows down and the sunroof wide open and SOAKING WET inside. I put my hand on the driver's seat and it LITERALLY was like squeezing a sponge. Apparently Stupid Jean Baptiste forgot to close up the car and the rain poured in.

Long story short I leave the car wide open all night and the next morning I tell my relief to leave the car open all day and HOPEFULLY it will dry out. I was told that the second I left she closed it up. My days off were split and I was gone for another day and a half.

So the start of my next shift I open the car and the whole thing smells like Mildew. I decide it's not my problem and call the Field Supervisor to let him know.

The next day the Field Supervisor comes and parks the car in front of the Warehouse (visual deterrent) locks it up AND TAKES THE KEYS. He may as well have told us all "You're to dumb to be trusted with a car." and it sat there for another three weeks.

I'm pretty sure they ended up having to replace the entire interior of that car.

[Soper]

Sounds like the FS is correct… Try being mature at work.

[The Night Rider]

Sounds like the FS is correct… Try being mature at work.

I'm retired bro. I don't do "at work ".

[Soper]

I'm retired bro. I don't do "at work ".

Then why are you posting constant dribble? Take your fake “there i wuz “ stories to Twitter.

I’m not your “bro”.

[PhantomX0990]

Then why are you posting constant dribble? Take your fake “there i wuz “ stories to Twitter.

I’m not your “bro”.

I once had a angry guy throw poop at me because he was mad I wouldn't let him jack off in the women's restroom. Dropped trou' right in the main entrance driveway and made some hot chocolate pudding.

[copelandamuffy]

i worked security for FedEx Thanks but no thanks Some of the package handlers, and some of the FedEx drivers did not play nice We had to check their bags and wand them down Glad to be transferred

[The Night Rider]

Then why are you posting constant dribble? Take your fake “there i wuz “ stories to Twitter.

I’m not your “bro”.

Why shouldn't I post here? Are you jealous that I'm living the dream BRO?

[The Night Rider]

The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back

This happened one Monday morning at approximately 2AM at a low income housing unit I call Wino Gardens.



I got there a couple of hours later. I filed an incident report and I called the police. That's what my job required. The police told me that since it was just property damage it had to be reported online by the owner of the building.

At the end of my shift I turned over my keys and the company phone to the office manager. And I gave him a short synopsis of what happened during the shift and I ASS U ME that when my immediate supervisor comes to work the office manager passes it on.

When I got done with my shift I made sure the office manager was briefed on what had happened.

That Monday night when I got to work I asked my immediate supervisor if he had been told. He didn't know anything about it. I asked him if the windows have been repaired and he said they must have been because he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary when he was there that evening.

I took that picture at 5 O'Clock Tuesday morning. My immediate supervisor had to walk RIGHT THROUGH THAT DOOR to get into the building and he didn't notice that.

That was a night that I decided I'm NOT going to go out of my way to make up for the fact that my coworkers/supervisors don't get off their lazy asses and do their job.

I retired a week or two later. They had the nerve to look surprised.

[The Night Rider]

I once had a angry guy throw poop at me because he was mad I wouldn't let him jack off in the women's restroom. Dropped trou' right in the main entrance driveway and made some hot chocolate pudding.

No one has ever thrown **** at me (I mean, I used to work in a zoo down in Florida and the gorillas did it all the time but no people have ever thrown s*** at me) but stuff like this was pretty common in the low income housing units I checked



You had to be careful where you put your feet when you walk through the alleys in the back of the buildings to do your checks. Because the crackheads didn't have anyplace else to go so they've go back in the alleys.

I used to wake people up sleeping back there and tell them they were laying in ****. A lot of them didn't care.

[Condo Guard]

Dude, I see this every day in Seattle. Try working in a city with 8000 homeless mentally ill / drug addicts / petty crooks. I've seen feces on walls, blood on the ceiling, all manner of used / soiled clothing. We don't need pictures.

[The Night Rider]

Dude, I see this every day in Seattle. Try working in a city with 8000 homeless mentally ill / drug addicts / petty crooks. I've seen feces on walls, blood on the ceiling, all manner of used / soiled clothing. We don't need pictures.

But you got pictures.

that's one thing that always bugged me about security. The industry is so full with all these wannabe Alpha Males (even the females want to be Alpha Males) who think they're running a show that they ain't running.

that's one of the reasons the I made a point of taking the night shifts and assignments where I was the only guard on site.

[Condo Guard]

Well, there's two sides to that coin, though. Yes, the security industry has a lot of low dominance males that feel better wearing a badge and being able to order people around (even if its just directing them to the correct parking spot). But what you may be interpreting as "trying to run the show" is problem solving and situational mitigation. I'm not running the show at all - but the eight hours a day I'm in the show I have to try to mitigate the craziness and solve today's problems - it is what I get paid for. I'm not trying to solve the city's or the country's problems - that would be a bit much.

I wasn't ordering you to not post pictures - I just didn't want to see that with my coffee. The one thing we can agree on is crackheads don't care - they'll do it in their pants and walk around the whole day snacking on Fruity Pebbles like nothing's wrong...Pretty sad in a first world country...

[The Night Rider]

I wasn't ordering you to not post pictures - I just didn't want to see that with my coffee. The one thing we can agree on is crackheads don't care - they'll do it in their pants and walk around the whole day snacking on Fruity Pebbles like nothing's wrong...Pretty sad in a first world country...

well there's one thing I disagree with you on. I understand the hygiene issues and I understand the crazy but a lot of these guys don't have any place else to go. All the stores downtown have signs on them no public restrooms. They won't even let crackheads in. So the crackhead that is reduced to two options poop in their pants or go back in an alley or a stairwell somewhere.

Unfortunately, a lot of the solutions the city has tried don't work because the crack heads abuse them. There were to strip malls on my route and in each of them the property owner had set up a porta potty to keep the crackheads from pooping in the parking lot or bothering the business owners. They were usually trashed.

America has become a third world country in our decline and there really is no solution. Unless you want to start incarcerating all the crackheads in something like a workhouse.

[Condo Guard]

Agreed. Seattle put in a bunch of drinking fountains near the homeless camps, as well as hygiene stations - all vandalized within months. Until we put the violent mentally ill in involuntary treatment, the drug addicts in forced rehab and the unrepentant criminals in jail, it will just spiral out of control.

Looping back to the original thread - laziness is a problem in this industry. Especially with the contract companies, you can be a terrible employee for a long, long time - as long as the client doesn't complain too much and you don't become a massive insurance liability, you can coast for months or even years without being fired.

I think communication is a huge problem. First shift figures 2nd shift will deal with it, 2nd shift pushes it off to 3rd shift, etc. You can do a post & pass on log that everyone has to sign, you can have a giant white board that the guards see when they get their equipment, etc. If nobody reads it, or they figure, "not my problem," then you get broken windows and no repairs. (I gotta ask - how long did it take to fix the door?)

[The Night Rider]

What is it with Security Guards pissing in the company Cary?

There was a coworker on my site who managed to get herself locked out of the office one Saturday. Inevitably she had to pee. She was all alone on site, there were plenty of places she could have hid in the bushes or behind a trailer, she even could have locked the gate and gone to the 7-11 on the corner. I mean, no conscientious employer would have faulted her for that.

But she didn't do any of those things, she sat in the company vehicle and PISSED all over the seat AND LEFT IT FOR THE NEXT GUARD.

My very first assignment was as a replacement for a guard who had incontinence issues. I don't hold his medical issues against him but he did NOTHING to mitigate it. Everywhere he sat he pissed. The office chairs, the company vehicle, probably his vehicle (which wasn't our issue).

He walked around with his pants wet and stinking of piss. He denied it was piss but EVERYONE could smell it. My coworkers BEGGED the office to reassign him but management was afraid of a lawsuit so they wouldn't move him until everyone else threatened to quit.

My first day on the site the day shift had rented a Bissell and was trying to scrub the PISS out of the office chairs and vehicle.