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  • #16
    "... Thirty minutes? You better be bringing us all chickens. Whole rotisserie chickens. Move your ass."
    Some Kind of Commando Leader

    "Every time I see another crazy Florida post, I'm glad I don't work there." ~ Minneapolis Security on Florida Security Law

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    • #17
      Originally posted by N. A. Corbier
      "... Thirty minutes? You better be bringing us all chickens. Whole rotisserie chickens. Move your ass."
      LMAO!! To darn funny

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      • #18
        I never thought to write down all the doozies I've heard. One said his dog died.

        Better than the stinkers they think they can make you believe is catching them in their lies. They claim to be too sick to get out of bed, but you see them a couple of hours later at some bar, or stop beside them at a red light. Same when you see them driving that car they claimed wouldn't start(or was broke, etc.).

        One company I used to work for paid every other Friday. Boy, let me tell you, those Fridays were the worst times for sickness, car trouble, family emergencies, and so on.

        They hired this one clown who right from the start kept calling off at short notice. Talking to me finally, I kept asking him what the problem was. All he said, over and over again, "I just can't be there!" I finally told him I didn't think he had a good excuse, and if he wasn't dead, he'd damn well better be there! He didn't show. I had to cover his post. He was fired the next morning.

        Another one who really chapped my bacon. He worked a 4 to mid shift at an apartment complex for senior citizens. He was to pick up the keys at our office(about a 5 miniute drive from his post), and then bring them back in at the end of his shift.
        Since I worked both the 4 to mid shift, and mid to 8(I was the "floater" supervisor), I began to notice a strange pattern that he didn't show up at the office until after 1 A.M. to turn in the keys- and in civvies! Asked him what the deal was with that; he said he had a couple of things to do first. I told him those keys had to be in right away after he went off duty.
        So one night when I was working the 4 to mid shift, I decided to pay him a suprise post inspection at 2330. Just in time to catch him driving out, wearing those damned civvies! Asked him what he thought he was doing; he said he had an emergency to get to. I told him he still needed to call in first, being that his shift was not over yet. Oh, but he had to get going; it was of upmost importance!! I said, oh, such an emergency, but he still had time to change into his civvies? He played dumb with that remark. I then asked him for the keys, which he gave me, whereupon I very professionally told him to GET LOST! I go into the post; just what I thought. He had his log filled out up to midnight.
        He really got canned the next morning!

        However, the two best ones for being late(legit reasons) were from one of my fellow supervisors; the one who worked the regular mid to 8 shift(Guards called him "Captain Midnight").

        One time was when, just as he was getting ready to go, and was already running late, he had his only clean pair of uniform pants hanging over a chair as he was getting dressed. Stupid tomcat decided that was a good place to mark his territory, and "sprayed" all over his clean pants!!
        Another night, he was hurrying out of his house, and didn't see a toy one of his kids left in the yard. He tripped over it, and went sliding face first down a soping front yard, muddy at that. He had to go get changed and cleaned up. I didn't mind covering for him, although I couldn't resist ribbing him for that.
        Never make a drummer mad; we beat things for a living!

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