04-16-2012, 09:15 PM #1
Joke: Wife & Husband Diary Entries
Wife's Diary Entry:
April 14: Tonight, I thought Jim was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends and I was a little late for our date. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I thought he was upset that I was a bit late; but he made no comment on it so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a total disaster.
Husband's Diary Entry:
April 14: Boat won't start, can't figure out why.A man who will not lie to his wife has no regard for her feelings. - Anon.
My school was so tough we had our own coroner. - Lenny Bruce
In my neighborhood, you could walk 10 blocks in any direction and never leave the scene of a crime. - Charlie Callas
04-16-2012, 10:13 PM #2
(stupid "10 character" post rule....)“Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left”
"I swear to God, I'm going to pistol whip the next guy that says 'Shenanigans' "... Capt. O'Hagan, "Super Troopers"
04-17-2012, 04:43 AM #3
Read this, chuckled to myself, and headed outside for an evening ride. Bike wouldn't start. After spending twenty minutes fiddling, I said, "Eff this, will deal with it when it's light out." Went back inside, tossed my gloves onto the couch and sat down heavily at the kitchen table, grumbling.
Other half comes into the kitchen, looks at me and says, "Thought you were going for a ride."
"Not tonight, apparently," I growl back. She gives me this look that says "oh, he's pissed at me over something, what'd I do, he's really upset, oh no oh no, this is it, this is gonna start the argument that ends it all..." I look at the look on her face, which is one of those borderline-tears looks, and think of this post and burst out laughing, laughing so hard I nearly fall out of the chair.
Now she's pissed at me for laughing at her.
Neither my ride nor my old lady are talking to me. And it's all your fault, ST."I don't do judgment. Just retrieval."
"The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it."
04-17-2012, 10:25 AM #4
Oh, man. I thought it was only my wife that did this.
I was sitting quietly on the couch once, trying to figure out what was wrong with my computer and how I was going to fix it, and Mrs CameraMan, near tears, comes over to ask me what's wrong. And that's when the fight started...The CCTV Blog.
"Expert" is something like "leader". It's not a title that you can ever claim for yourself no matter what you might know or might have done. It's a title that others bestow on you based on their assessment of what you know and what you have done.
10-25-2013, 10:40 PM #5
- Join Date
- Sep 2006
lol. Mrs. Secure and I split up for a month ( a few years ago ) over the argument that followed the "What's wrong baby" question."What if this is as good as it gets?" ~ Melvin Udall
10-28-2013, 01:03 PM #6
http://www.laurel-and-hardy.com/ Greatest Comedy team ever!
- Join Date
- Sep 2006